“I never stopped loving you.” Holding Tina’s face in her hands Bette spoke honestly to her. “Never.”

“I know babe, it tears me to pieces knowing that. I confused hurt with lack of love. I hated myself and couldn’t believe anybody could love me, least of all the person whose baby I’d just lost. I interpreted everything in my own way. I comfort explained everything to myself. Then my parents.” Tina knew Bette didn’t quiet get along with them, least of all their thinking.

“We were scared T, we were new at what we were getting ourselves into. I had never attempted to have children with anybody before.” Bette cradled Tina’s head against her chest. “We had no guidance and it didn’t help much that we didn’t even have references around us. I mean between Shane and Kit, bless them, we were the most clued up. When everything came down around us, there were no cushions to catch us.”

Tina’s tears were now soaking Bette’s t-shirt.

“You were there for me babe, I was just not accepting of your love then. I just couldn’t get why you would want to comfort me, when I’d lost your baby.”

“Our baby Tina, we equally wanted that baby. You were radiant, beautiful and we wanted that for our family. Our somebody.” Bette too was crying now, she wanted to erase the last four years and make it just four hours since breaking up with Tina.

“You loved me through it all. Then when I realized why you broke up with me, I hurt even more. I was so repulsed by my inability to give you a child, I could no longer look at you. My staying out and eventually rebel rousing was my way of distancing myself from you. I blamed myself until I couldn’t anymore. I knew I never stopped loving you, but my actions…..” They were both silent again. Wiping tears, breathing, mindlessly caressing each other. Tina felt at home and being on Bette’s lap erased the last four years.

“I broke into pieces if you must know.” Bette told Tina. “Shane….” Bette suddenly stood up. “SHANE! I’m so dead.”

“Thanks babe.” Tina teased as she was unceremoniously  slid off Bette’s lap. “Shane? Kill you? Not in this lifetime.”