So I whispered Dana my plan. Ahem

“Dana I know that I’m out of line here but it’s not for my sake, okay. So I’m going to flat out apologize for the future because I just need you right now.”

“What?!”

“No! Not like that! Excuse us Tina. Dana’s being silly again!” We got up from the table and continued our discussion just a few feet from Tina so she wouldn’t hear anything. She was still by the way looking back and forth, right to left, left to right. Eric or Bette. Bette and Eric. Poor girl, so drunk and confuse.

“Dana! Stop picturing me naked!”

“What?!”

“I know you see me naked right now!”

“WHAT?!”

“Okay, we could talk about this later, but I really need you to do something for me right now.”

“Look Al. We’re close friends but not that close”

“Listeeenn. I need you to focus. So focus! You see that, you see Tina?”

“Yeahshe’s a little drunk I think.”

“And confuse.”

“About being drunk?”

“NO! Please Dana just listen. Just listen to me and do me the favor. Okay. I need you to go over to Bette at the corner, talk to her for a little bit, tell her a joke or something”

“I don’t know any jokes.”

“I’ll give you one! Okay. So I just need you to distract her a bit, you know. Rescue her from the art fanatics and get her alone in the corner, I’m sure you could do that. And just talk to her for a few minutes, tell her a joke or say something about the dinner or something”

“What for? I mean, what are you doing?”

“I’m going to keep Tina company and I’ll be observing you guys from afar.”

“I’m getting a feeling that that’s not all I’m going to do.”

“I want you to kiss her.”

“Kiss who? Bette?”

“Yes.”

“What the ***** for?!”

“For Tina.”

“You’re crazy you know. I’m not kissing her.”

“You are too. Full on the lips, I don’t wanna see cheek to cheek, I want lips all the way.”

“I’m not doing it Alice.”

“2 seconds. I promise, it won’t hurt.”

“Nope.”

“Fine then. Change of plans. I want you to erase everything with Bette’s name and insert Eric’s.”

“What?”

“You go on the left corner this time. Talk, joke, laugh and smile, then kiss!”

“Kiss Eric?”

“Or kiss Bette.”

“***** you Al.”

“NO. We’ll do me later. You need to pick corners now.”