Soooo *****.

Who exactly are you kidding?

Bette. Shes not that straight and you know. You guys gawked at one another for like the entire time I was in the bathroom.

Shes with Mr. Matthews as you saw.

***** Matthews. Hes hot, but shes *****. She laser beamed you with her gayness and her twins talked to me earlier.

Twins?

Boobage, Porter! Where is your mind?

I exited the room and waited for her to do the same. The hope Ive given her set Bette in all the right directions I was aiming for. I was like cupid with machine guns. I had a plan and it was awesome.

The lonely sparkle left Bettes wandering eye, yes, if you look closely Bette does have this wandering eye. Its her one and only physical flaw. People dont even know it, especially women. They think its part of the charm when she talks to them, believing that she does see everything. But they dont know that the other eye is just wandering around like an old fool.

Okay, youre finally back. I like Matthews and Ill give him a spin round the gallery my style. You better talk to Tina and get the 411.

Its not gonna work.

What?

This! Whatever this is. Look Al, shes with Eric. Shes not *****. I have guests to tend to, artists to talk to, work to be done.

I get that, I really do. But this is a chance. And one chance is all weve got, I mean, youve got. Take a ***** risk Porter! She entered the building and shes got all messed up already. And you hardly said a word! Her gayness is so beaming and its losing ***** light. Now talk to her. What do you have to lose?

I left her alone to ponder and went over to the other side and began my search for the hotness Matthews. I quickly spotted the couple at the back talking gingerly about art. I grabbed myself two glasses of wine and headed where they were. But before heading for my conquest, I turned around and saw Bette walking towards my direction.

Its about time.