Previously…

“T,” Bette whispered softly, pulling me closer to her.

I bent down slowly and put my ear to her lips. Softly, sweetly, but with much effort, Bette’s mouth formed the words I’d been longing to hear for months. Those three little words that conveyed so much feeling, passion and depth, and assured me that we really did get the chance to start over.

“I love you.”

For the hundredth time in one day, my eyes filled with tears. I pulled away from her and looked into her eyes, noticing that hers had also watered up. I felt a heart-wrenching need to protect her and comfort her, to shield her from pain and to stop the tears that stained her face. Although I hadn’t taken this particular role in our relationship too often over the past eight years, I knew it was now my turn to be strong, to be the protector, to be everything she had always been for me. I pushed her tears away with my thumb and kissed her lips softly.

“I love you, too,” I whispered back. “Always.”

* * * * * * * * * *

The time flew by as the six of us laughed and caught up in Bette’s cramped hospital room. The evening was more about the celebration of a family recovering from tragedy rather than an intimate reunion between two estranged lovers; every chance I got, though, I stole a private glance from Bette and felt my heart flutter. I held her hand protectively and lovingly, our fingers intertwined so perfectly as if they were made to fit together. For a few short minutes, everything was right again.

Then we heard a knock at the door.

“I’m sorry,” Leslie said from the doorway, “but visiting hours are over.”

The room fell silent and I noticed the heart-broken looks around the room. The girls had just gotten the chance to reconnect with Bette and it was already over. They sighed and nodded, obliging the nurse and following hospital policy begrudgingly.

“We’ll be back tomorrow,” Alice said as she leaned down to kiss Bette’s forehead.

“Promise?” Bette asked feebly, her eyelids drooping beyond her control as the exhaustion started to set in.

“Promise,” Dana assured her as she also kissed Bette’s cheek.

“Oh, sis,” Kit said sweetly, her hand on Bette’s arm. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Kit,” Bette replied, smiling at her sister.

Kit kissed the back of Bette’s hand and passed by me on her way out the door. She patted my back lovingly, winking slightly with a wide smile on her face.

“Rest up,” Shane told Bette, “and get your energy back, okay?”

“Okay,” Bette whispered, her eyes closing as she began her slow drift to sleep.

“We’ll wait for you outside,” Shane said to me as she left the room.

I stood at the foot of Bette’s bed, watching her as her breaths became heavy and her movements stilled. The slow and gentle rhythm of her near-sleep breathing was calming to me; for years, I had fallen asleep to this very sound with her arms wrapped comfortably around me. Suddenly, Bette opened her eyes and looked around the room, her gaze finally resting on me.

“You’re still here,” she said softly, a light smile on her face.

“Only for a minute,” I told her. “I wish I could stay here with you.”

“Me too,” Bette agreed, nodding slightly and reaching her hand out towards me.

I stepped to the side of the bed and grabbed her hand with both of mine, wanting to hold onto her forever. God, how I loved this woman. I couldn’t believe that the last six months of my life had gone by without her in it. I would never be able to forgive myself for missing out on that time with her, but I knew in the depths of my heart that Bette would let me have forever to make it up to her. Watching her as her eyelids slowly shut again, I stroked her cheek softly.

“I have to go,” I whispered into her ear after bending down for a quick kiss on her forehead.

“No,” Bette protested softly, squeezing my hand.

“I’ll come back,” I told her. “I’ll always come back to you, Bette.”

I leaned in and kissed her softly, feeling the electricity pass between us as our lips met. I could have stayed forever in that kiss, but I knew I had to go. As I pulled away from her, I realized she had fallen asleep peacefully and quietly with my lips on hers. ‘The perfect way to end a day,’ I thought to myself as I let go of her hand and silently left the room.

Just outside the door stood my pack of friends, waiting for me with open arms. They knew exactly what I needed, and I fell into another group hug with them as they absorbed the sadness I felt for leaving Bette.

“Where are you staying tonight?” Alice asked as we pulled away from each other.

“I hadn’t even thought about–” I began.

“Stay with me,” Alice interrupted, linking arms with me. “Please.”

I smiled and rested my head on Al’s shoulder.

“Okay,” I relented.

The five of us made our way to the parking lot outside Mercy Hospital, giving each other another round of hugs before separating for the night. I watched Dana and Alice say goodbye to each other and noticed their lingering hug, a whisper into each other’s ear, and a look that was undeniably affectionate. But, just as quickly as it began, the moment between them passed and Alice turned her attention back to me.

“Ready to go?” she asked me.

“Uh, yeah,” I replied slowly, wondering what had just transpired between the two best friends.

I followed Alice’s car through West Hollywood, parking next to her just outside her apartment. She flashed her famous Alice smile at me and started talking about her next column that she was working fiercely to finish. I allowed her to ramble as we walked up to her apartment, but the questions began mounting in my mind as soon as she shut her door behind herself.

“So,” I said, interrupting her mid-sentence. “What’s up with you and Dana?”

Alice’s cheeks flushed and she avoided eye contact with me, looking at the ground instead. After I left West Hollywood, I had heard that Dana’s engagement with Tonya had been called off but I never pried Dana for the details. As I watched Alice’s response to my question, I felt somehow that Alice was involved in her decision.

“You can talk to me,” I reminded Alice. “Come sit down, tell me all about it.”

Alice smiled weakly and joined me on the couch. I put an arm on her back, watching her and waiting for her to speak up. With Alice, you had to let her talk about things on her own time, and I knew this might take awhile. But, now that I was back home in the city I belonged with the woman I belonged to, I had all the time in the world.

“No one knows,” Alice began, her voice shaky. “I don’t even know what it is. It’s, I mean, it’s Dana, you know? Dana. She’s my best friend. But, ever since Prov–”

She stopped herself, looking up at me. I knew what she was about to say, and I smiled lightly at her to prod her on. As much as I hated to think about the night of Provocations and all that it meant to me for so many months, I knew it had a big part in Alice’s story so I let her continue. She shrugged as if to say she was sorry for invoking the dreaded evening that seemingly ended my life, but pressed on anyway.

“That night,” she continued, looking me in the eyes, “that night was the beginning of it all. I went to Dana’s at, like, four in the morning, and I told her she couldn’t marry Tonya. She asked why, and I didn’t even know what to tell her. I had all these feelings that I couldn’t put into words, and I just–”

“Wait a minute,” I interrupted. “You, the queen of gab, you were speechless?”

“It was the first and only time,” Alice said with a giggle, the heaviness of the moment lifted.

“Okay, okay,” I said, “you have to finish this story now.”

“So, as I was saying,” Alice continued, smiling, “I didn’t really know how to articulate all that I was feeling, so I just kissed her.”

She stopped for a minute to gauge my reaction, which I hoped didn’t convey the depths of shock that my brain was processing. After a minute, she went on. “The weird thing was, she kissed me back. We practically made out on her front step with Tonya right inside. But, I stopped it and ran away, scared and confused and totally out of my mind. I came back home and you were here… and… “

I took a deep breath, exhaling sharply at the memory of that night. I would never forget that night as long as I lived, but the thought of it didn’t stir as much anger inside me as it used to. It was then, at that exact moment on Alice’s couch where I had run to escape Bette’s betrayal so many months ago, that I realized that I had finally moved on from that awful night. The moment that I thought would never come was upon me, and I started laughing uncontrollably. Alice watched me with a bewildered look on her face, not knowing what was going through my mind.

“You’re starting to crack,” Alice said to me, her voice mixed with worry and confusion.

“It’s just,” I tried to say between laughs, “it’s just that, you know, my running away, Bette’s affair, all of it from so many months ago… that’s just it, it’s in the past. I finally get it. It happened, I can’t change it, but I can move forward. I feel like I’ve been given a second chance, you know? I have Bette again, I really truly have her back, and I thought this day would never, ever come.”

“You two really do love each other, don’t you?” Alice asked in awe.

“Yeah, we do,” I replied with a smile. “And great loves only come around once in a lifetime, Al. If that’s what this thing is with you and Dana, you have to grab hold of it and never let it go. It’s scary, I know, but the two of you just fit, you make sense, like me and Bette. I don’t know why I never saw it before, but it’s just… right.”

“It is,” Alice finally admitted, hanging her head. “It is, T. It really is. I love her. Oh my God, I just said it out loud. I love her. I love her!”

I laughed again, grabbing onto Alice and holding her close. She joined in my laughter, the joy of two friends who had just discovered — or, in my case, rediscovered — their one great love. Alice spent the rest of the evening hashing out all the details from the past six months: the real reason that Dana and Tonya had called off her engagement, their hesitation to begin a relationship, the decision to keep it a secret from their friends, and all of their important firsts as a couple.

When Alice finally called it a night and fell into bed, I settled into the couch for the night and looked up at the ceiling. I still couldn’t believe the events that had transpired over the past twenty-four hours, but I knew — despite the change that would surely come from the revelation of Alice and Dana’s relationship and the recommitment that Bette and I were making towards each other — that everything was going to be okay again. Tomorrow, as the sun rose and brought a brand new day, everything else would be brand new as well, and I couldn’t wait for it.

(TBC…)