And eventually she did, but it happened too late for her to be of any use to Bette when she’d needed her growing up, was that it? Bette wondered, did that make her not want to repeat those same mistakes with Lottie?

She sighed, hugging Tina’s body closer, she closed her eyes, soothed by the warm presence of Tina’s sleeping form, it was harder these days to feel overwhelmed by things, it was harder to run or hide, Tina was always there right beside her, keeping Bette’s feet planted firmly on the ground,

Her eyes flickered open again, taking in the dim light of the cabin, no surprise that since the day Lottie had walked into her life and told her who she really was she’d been seeing her mother, Maxine everywhere, she was there in Lottie, and she was there every time she closed her eyes,

Her thoughts were consumed once again by the woman who’d left her without a word almost forty years ago, such a great expanse of time that it shocked Bette to discover that there were some wounds time just couldn’t heal,

Bette smiled, thinking that what time couldn’t heal it instead took to rectify, she had Angie, and Tina, and a solid life centred around a close family, even Kit had her life in check nowadays,

Her eyes travelled over to Angie where she lay fast asleep beneath her blanket, almost nine years since the day she was born and it seemed to have gone by so fast. Bette remembered the day she’d arrived, that mixed up day filled with happiness and heartache, that feeling when she held her for the first time, the look in her eyes as they’d locked together, mother and daughter, knowing they were part of the same greater force,

Bette rubbed her forehead gently, her mind preoccupied with the idea that she’d inadvertently left Lottie alone for so many years through not knowing, never knowing, that she’d been denied the opportunity to know her sooner, know her better,

And there was Angie, at nearly nine years old. Bette cringed, it filled her with anxiety and fear to think of Angie losing either her or Tina, it sent her blood pressure higher, it forced her pulses close to her skins surface when she entertained the possibility of ever losing Tina herself, of ever not having her standing beside her making their decisions that bit easier and their life that bit better, she was scared, for nothing was ever a given,