Tina began her spiel that she knew so well and would joyfully rattle off to anyone who would listen.  She bluntly started speaking as she found Bette’s eyes and looked into them with all sincerity.  

“Bette, most people do not use their full breathing capacity. Not even close in most instances.”  Tina’s voice was strong & serious.  “This means we breathe in a shallow manner or ‘under-breathe’”. Tina demonstrated her point by inhaling a shallow breath and exhaling it half-heartedly before continuing her speech.  “When we do this, only the upper chest expands while inhaling.  Also known as chest breathing , this sort of shallow, non-productive breathing creates an imbalance in the oxygen/carbon dioxide ratio, which can result in hyperventilation and dizziness.  Furthermore, improper breathing contributes to stress, disease, poor posture and a “

Tina’s cell phone rang.  She retrieved it from her the front pocket of her jeans and looked at the caller id. 

“Please excuse me Bette, I need to answer this”. “Hey Babe!” Tina cheerfully answered. 

Bette was in a drunken stupor and couldn’t move her planted feet or blink her dark, fixated eyes.  She was amazed by the radiant know-it-all standing before her and mesmerized by the lecture she’d just received.   Not the words per se but the delivery and seriousness of it.  Tina’s voice flowed smoothly over Bette’s ears.   Her body moved gracefully navigating whatever space she occupied with confidence and precision.

Tina continued speaking to her caller in a slow, low seductive tone.  “So tell me baby,” she revealed a devious smile and waited a few seconds before continuing the rest of her inquiry “Are you wet for me?   Not waiting for an answer, she slowly continued, “I bet you’re soaking wet aren’t you?

 Bette’s breath ran and hid in the back of her throat threatening to stay there forever.  She immediately shoved her hands in her pockets and forced her eyes from Tina’s mischief down to the floor.  As her eyes searched for something, anything, to rescue her, she began making invisible circles on the hardwood with her bare foot.  She felt an immediate rise in her temperature and realized she was still holding her breath. 

Noticeably aroused, Tina breathed heavily, paused and sternly said “***** baby I’m on my way.  And when I get there, you better be ready to deliver on the promise you just made.”  She closed the clamshell and returned it to the front pocket of her jeans.  Unapologetically, Tina returned her eyes back to the stunned woman in front of her.  “You should come to one of my yoga classes Bette.  I think you’ll enjoy it.”  Stop by next week when you have some time between clients.  You already get my class schedule emailed to you at work.  Stop deleting it from your inbox and bring your ***** to a class.  Goodness Bette, you’re just right upstairs.   Tina’s voice returned to the low, seductive tone she had recently used during her phone call.  “I’d love for you to come Bette. I know you want to.  Please come” 

And with that said, Tina Kennard joyfully whizzed through the front door and began a steady trot up the street to her house.

TBC…