Fan Fiction
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“That Story About Those People”
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“Bette, I took your frying pan.”
“What?”
“Your new pan – the one you burned today. I’m taking it for a new sculpture.”
“New sculpture, Jodi?”
“Yes. I’m calling it domestic monogamous bliss.”
“Really.” Bette swallowed hard. “Okay.”
“Well, I have more time to sculpt now that I’ve resigned my teaching position.”
“I suppose you do.”
“Or,” Jodi came over to Bette and ran her hand down her partner’s arm. “I have more time to be the hot fuck that you know I am.”
As Jodi’s arm traced down hers, Bette took hold of it and looked at Jodi’s watch. “Oh, look at the time, will you. I’ve got to get to Phyllis’ party.”
“Phyllis is having a party?”
“Yes. But it will be boring and be work and only my friends like Shane and Alice and,” Bette sighed, “Tina….Tina will be there.”
“It does sound boring.”
“You didn’t really want to go, anyway.”
“Maybe I’ll go work in my studio. Barefoot.”
Bette eagerly nodded to that suggestion. “That’s a good way for you to spend the evening.”
“Maybe I’ll even clean there so you don’t need socks. I’ve cleaned here.”
“Really.” Bette was surprised.
“I removed the blonde hairs off the pillows and the lacy black bra and panties off the curtain rods.”
“Those must have floated in from that party at Shane’s.”
“That’s what I was thinking. Well, I’m going to go now. Last chance to fuck me.”
Bette gave a small wave and, with that, Jodi was out the door.
And, once out the door, Jodi climbed into a waiting car.
“Does she suspect anything?” The artist asked.
“Not a thing.”
“And you’re sure you’ll be able to get her away from the party.”
Just then the driver’s phone rang. She looked at the display, Bette, and let the call go to voicemail. “No problem.”
“The cameras are in place, right? This is going to be the best performance art piece, ever.”
“Have you got a name for it?”
“I’m going to call it ‘Bette Porter is a Pootie-Chasing Dog.’”
“I’m not sure that’s original.”
“I’ll come up with a name later.” When they stopped at a stoplight, Jodi took hold of the driver’s hand. “Thank you for everything.”
“You’ll thank me later.” The woman flashed her a feral smile. “You know how.”
“Just whatever you do, try to make it look hot.”
“I’ll try. There’s only so much I can do with Porter. You know that as well as anyone.”
“I do. But I’m sure if someone can sex her up, it’s you, Tina.”
Tina pulled the car over, and kissed Jodi. Hard. “We’ll just see.”
Has Bette been set up? Will she be saved by the couch – I mean ninjas? Or the pirates? Or will she be forced to ensure more sex with Tina? And so a plot unfolds …
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A dessert island would be yummy. Dessert pizza? There are mysteries everywhere, but Soap is squeaky clean.
There once was a writer named Soapy/Whose brilliant prose made me quite dopey/Characters did she take/Their motives did shake/TiBetters will she make quite mopey.More Please!
Joys of joys! My true fans have given me a star! Just one! Less is more and the leastest is the bestest!
I now have “I Wanna Sex You Up” by Color Me Badd stuck in my head.
I’m secretly hoping a teeming horde of Angie’s newly adopted puppies, armed with ray-guns, will come bursting from the ninja-couch, and together, will thwart any and all plans.
And a LOLcat or 10 could create a diversion should the need arise by asking for cheezburgers and hugs plz.
jpthe22nd – you have a most excellent concept for the subtle plot and love story necessary to create an epic. It’s a form of genius. I am awed. Lamentapotato will contribute the soundtrack.
*sob* Really, Annie? Love is wonderful (of course, cash is better…).
I think I’m a little in love with you right now DropTheSoap! LOL.
I needed a laugh this morning so I thank you for providing it. You are unique!
I’m alternately troubled yet intrigued at how your mind works. I know you have a Tinaffliction, much like myself, so I look forward to the eventual plot development that describes her as either a ninja warrior in suitably ass-kicking garb, or some scantily clad pirate victim walking a plank. And…you want fewer stars? Seriously? The Tibette hoards will be here to do your bidding with this story!
LOL This was funny!!! Thanks!
Awww…people who write stuff like me. That’s so cool! And, um, plot development? What is this thing called plot development? I believe my work thus far has been without the burden of plot. And yes, the TiBetters love me for this. Sort of like Tina loves Jenny.
there was a lovely writer named soap/for whose real identity su did grope/but soap would not concede/though su did beg and plead/and was plain unable to cope!I know, this was bad…but I am hoping I will wear soap down!!
Well I am not a tibetter but I do really like pizza and I LOVE Bette who deserves far better than either Tina or Jodi..Helena perhap???… For some reason, deserted desert islands come to mind, only not that deserted, and foggy London streets, all of which Bette and Helena are really hot in, and only moderately plagued by the Tina. I am up for her walking the plank, and anything written by you dear soap of mystery. May I call you som?