The Adventures of Bette Porter and Sissee Gardner After Yale (Part 3, Chapter 9)

PART THREE: MENDOCINO, CALIFORNIA

Chapter 9

When we got in the house, Bette headed for the kitchen and sat down at the table in front of her opened brief case.

I stood in the kitchen doorway watching her as she rummaged through some papers and then began to study them.

She obviously had nothing to say to me and I did not know how to read that. I glanced at my watch. It was after 4 p.m.. Her dinner party was at 6 p.m.

I spoke to her back. “Are you still going tonight?”

“Yes,” she said, without looking at me. “But you don’t have to go.”

“Do you want me to go?”

“That’s up to you.”

“No, it’s not up to me. It’s up to you. It depends on whether or not you want me there.”

“You might get embarrassed again.”

I took a few slow steps forward. “I really disappointed you didn’t I?”

“The whole sorry-ass thing was disappointing.”

“What would you have me do? Say “fuck you” to everyone in the room, like you did?”

“You didn’t have to run. We had just as much right to be there as they did.”

“I should have just stood there and cried? “

“Maybe they’d realize lesbians have feelings too.”

“It’s hard for me Bette.”

“It’s hard for me too, but I guess you have options while I don’t unless I want to live a lie.”

“I know you’d never do that.”

“You’re right. I wouldn’t.”

“So are you just going to sit there and look at papers or is there a chance we can talk our way back to where we were last night?”

She was quiet. She put the papers that were in her hands down on the table and stared at them.

I took a few more steps closer to her, adding, “I don’t want to fight. What do I have to say to make it go away?”

“What will you do if it ever happens again?” she asked.

“Okay, I’ll stand my ground if that’s what you want me to do, but I’ll do it with dignity. I won’t put myself down to their level by swearing at them.”