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The Ant Farm – L Word Bette Porter
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“I’m sorry dear, that was insensitive. You were in love, and for a long time, weren’t you?” She leans across her leather seat and pats my leg comforting me.
“With brief interruptions from…” I nod over to where Helena sits with her eyes closed, an iPod amusing her. ”But yes, I was, am still. It’s something I don’t understand. As common as it sounds it was partly about money. I was running out of it.”
“I don’t know how you all do it! Women are the most fickle creatures. Must take hours out of every day to just step around in the minefields much less avoid them all completely.”
“I don’t know how to do it. I’m as amputated as Brooke ever was – missing digits and other things.”
“People act very, very strange about money, Bette. You’ve been around enough to have seen that time after time.”
“Honestly, Peggy. I just didn’t think we were that way.” I look out the window as our jet races high above a long stream of clouds. I close my eyes for a moment and contemplate as we fly north across the border to the most unlikely of things to attend, Shane’s wedding. I sip my martini. We are all so very fucked up. I truly don’t know what to say.
Shane’s wedding – Bette
Let me try to list all the ways this weekend has to be one of the single worst experiences arguably of mine and everyone else’s. In my mind there is a rivalry between who should die first, Gabriel or Henry? Henry or Gabriel, Shane’s cum for brains low down motherfucking father. Or Henry, who has just uttered the words, “No, Bette. I’m adopting Angelica, not you.”
Or Tina who has said, “I can’t believe you would do this, Bette, but now that you have I just want you to know that Henry and I are thinking of starting a family.”
“Are there earthquakes in Vancouver, Peggy?” I ask as I stare down Henry and tighten my leather gloves finger by finger onto my hands.
“I felt a tremor, well, a quake really, Bette.” Peggy smiles as my volcano rises.
“Henry, do you want to do this outside? If not, I’m going to break your fucking nose right here in this motherfucking Lobby, you sonuvabitch.”
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“Now, I am going to hit you.” I raise my arm back but Tina calls out.
“Wait! Let me!” as she slaps Henry a good stinging smack across his face.
God help me, you cracked me up!! LMAO.
I loved this, I love how you describe Bette’s anger and turmoil, it’s so real!
The scene at Bette’s was beautiful. Funny and deep. It was good to see the gang together in a moment like that, and our couple forgetting about their own issues, just to focus on their friend Alice (and Dana). Wonderfully written, as always.
I love these stories. Thanks for posting so frequently.
Well done Bette !!! Again-I love your writing and I`m glad you came to this site.
oh WOW! it is more than pleased!
I think you’re outdone, my cheeky request ;)
I realized it was not the best idea to drink coffee while reading the scene :)
I’m looking forward to the sequel!
Hey Blackbird – Wonderful writing! I really like these snippets of TiBette. Keep us grateful for your gift. Thank you!
hey blackbird… love the humor in this story.. love the word “hasbian” and Bette bitter feelings to Henry. LOl. especially the slapping paragraph story. i was deeply touch about dana’s ashes as what the girls has to do with it. i hate when bette feels so bitter to tina , who was/is the love of her life. Bette is hurt with so much emotional- pain in her heart to see Tina being with Henry. i dont like Henry. wonderfully written!!!! thank you for sharing.. keep up the good work … always!!!
BB..thx 4 the post, a real page turner actually. I really liked “memories are rarely inescapable, their knowing impossible to doubt for long, and they are so many here in this kitchen, every where in this house, and all over my skin.”…… You have a way of capturing the gals emotions! Their emotions have been duly noted! They really socked it 2 Henry…yay…keep writing your posts BB…..oh and yes the pics accompanying the posts are great, an extra treat……..Anticipation….
This is pure comedy gold! You had me laughing at Bette whistling to the ants crawling out of Dana’s ashes, to Bette and Tina slapping Henry. I am surprised the other girls didn’t form a conga line to slap Henry too since they hate him as much. Can’t wait to read your next chapter.
You’ve got Bette’s seething towards Tina and Henry going on. Just another great chapter from Ms. BB.
This is should had been in the show!…Oh my god…the lines are perfect!…
So sad that it came to this…but Fucking Classic
Thinking about new story for Touch Tones, Season 7 inspired story line I read this great story, and did a polish. I was pleased with the way I took the story from one setting to end up a thousand miles away in another country, Canada, where I wrote a hilarious scene for Bette and Peggy Peabody after Shane’s botched wedding. I won’t spoil the great fun awaiting you as they double team Tina and Henry, but of all the things I’ve dreamed up for those two – Tina and Bette – I wish the Henry takedown I could’ve seen on screen because the show writer’s had thought of it.
After you get your bearings again the story following, “The Ant Farm” is “Sleeping Rough”, and in its opening is a wonderful scene of Bette in WalMart on the hunt for baby supplies for their getaway.
“Sleeping Rough” is here on LesFan: http://bit.ly/BetteHatesHenry
Blackbird