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The Burden of Control – Chapter 6
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Turning on the
lights and looking around, Bette couldnt help but notice the difference since
she had last been there. With the exception of a few knick knacks Tina had
taken, the place hadnt changed much.
But to Bettes eyes, it was an entirely new place. One without Tina. One
without their love to serve as a foundation. This house was a disaster. This
house felt cold and uninviting.
Bette pursed her
lips and hesitantly moved across the living room, turning down the back
hallway, before standing in front of her closed door. She slowly stepped
forward, reaching out to touch the brass door *****. She twisted it, feeling the resistance as it
protested the movement with a drawn out squeak, before finally retracting the
latch. She took a deep breath, pushed
the door open and stepped inside. She flipped on the light and took it all in.
The neatly made bed.
The drawn curtains.
The dressers adorned
with photos of happier times.
So many memories
forged in this very room. Some of them tender and slow, others fast and driven
by passion. But all started by love. Except
Bette balled her
hands into fists and pressed them into her closed eyes, trying valiantly to
block out the last time she and Tina had been in this room together. The night
of provocationsthe night that she confessedthe night that Tina slapped
herthe night thatBette shook her head attempting to toss away the unpleasant
thoughts, but the images of that night played out in her mind regardless.
She had only wanted
to get Tina to stop hitting her. She could still feel the anger, an almost
tangible feeling, as Tina swung her arms wildly trying to inflict as much pain
as possible. Trying to make Bette feel as hurt as was by seeing Bette touch
another woman. All Bette wanted to do was to stop herto hold her. Then they
fell to the bed. Bette wanted to feel
their connection. She wanted to feel
Tinato caress herto love herthe strugglethe sound of Tinas dress tearing.
Thats what stopped Bette. The violence of that sound, coupled with Tinas
frustrated cries stopped her attempts at reaching Tina. She was shocked. What was happening to them? Why
were they doing to this to one another? How could SHE do this to Tina? Bette
was about to get up, when Tina finally gained control and flipped them
over. She screamed at Bette holding her
down, forcing her arms to the bed. She made her way down Bettes body biting
her cheekher neckher breast. Bette didnt know what hurt more, the physical
pain left from Tinas mouth or the emotional impact of Tina wanting her to hurt
that badly. And then Tina grabbed her
hand andforced it insideTina hadnt been aroused. It was the first time, in
all their times together, that Tina hadnt been wet. It was utterly devastating
to Bette and in that one moment, she knew that she had lost Tina.
Bette snapped back
to the present, angrily swiping at tears that had started to form. She wouldnt
cry. She didnt deserve to cry. She
looked once again over at the bed, before grabbing a pillow and blanket from
the closet. Hesitating once again in the doorway, she closed her eyes and
inhaled, saddened beyond words that she could no longer smell traces of the
perfume Tina loved to wear. She pulled the door closed behind her, the latch
driving home with a loud click that echoed faintly through the hallway. The
finality of that sound resonated deeply in Bettes heart.
(TBC)
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powerful update!! hope to read more soon!
Revisiting the scene of The Scene: do you think TLW will ever address what went on that night?
I wonder about Bette’s decision to come home before the show is up. Kit had some wise advice. Maybe Bette should have waited until the stress of doing the show was over. Does Bette ever listen?
And now? The couch? What is the point of going home if she isn’t readyb to face the pain in full and proceed forward? Sleeping on the couch is no panacea and surely a good night’s rest in a bed is imperative for dealing with all that she must face, work, divorce, health issues.
This is a transitional chapter? Thanks for posting. And lay off the Skittles, girl!
poor Bette. I’m glad she decided to move back home, even if it meant going ot an empty house. I hope she stays away from the alcohol like she told Kit. last thing she needs is a problem like that.
The bedroom scene – really touching. I guess she’s not sleeping in that bed.
so………….what about the business card. What kind of doctor is she? i NEED to know. You’re killing me. POST SOON!
i´m still very sad..but i can see why she is going to sleep on the couth..she feels like she dosent deserve sleep on the bed without Tina is too much pain to much memories to much remorse..and she just made her second mistake what was not talk to Kit she is sick i wanna see B&T together but not just because Bette is sick but just cuz Tina loves her and want be part of her life again…ok i love your story please post soon and thanks :o)
I hope by her being home she wont be driven to the bottle…..And sleeping on the couch is only going to go so far….She needs Tina and only then will she be able to sleep in that bed again…..Post soon!
i am glad you wrote bette viewpoint on the scene. the scene should have been discuss in season 2. i know you will do a wonderful job writing it in your story. tibette, right now your story is a joy to read even if it only 1 page long.this was such a sad chapter,bette is so sad,right now she feel she is the blame for failure of her marriage[ WITH THE AFFAIR] but it take 2 people to do that.tibette is this story told from bette view? will we hear tina side?
nice touch on the bedroom scene, I liked the way you explained it, another thing we will not see in the show, really happy when we have fan fic writers like you who are willing to talk about it. STILL waiting on what’s wrong with bette, and how she is going to handel it. I hope we get a update soon.
WONDERFUL CHAPTER…thanks…
Man that was sad I could feel Bette’s pain and sadness. I hope she reaches out to Tina she needs to pull her self to gether and fight for what she wants. Great chapter enjoyed it very much and looking forward to more soon.
I think you have finally found the answer to why Bette is such a bitch at work… the uncomfortable shoes. That can ruin anyone’s day.
This is so sad and hurt and emotion!