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The Difference A Week Makes (Ch. 2, part 1)
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It was all too much for any woman, demoralized or not to take in. Shane’s heart broke as she listened to her friend bear her soul, gasping for air whenever the crying encumbered her breathing. She held Bette tighter, willing the love and care she harbored for this woman to seep into the lost soul, hoping somehow to lift her up from the abyss that engulfed her.
The time was close to three when Shane had help put a depleted Bette to bed, the gesture the older woman truly appreciated. She left as quietly as she had entered Bette’s space; intuition sensed she has yet to see the worse of her saddened friend’s downward spiral. Shane vowed to keep a closer watch and prayed that her keen gift would prove her wrong this time.
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Mournful eyes glistened as Bette processed and reprocessed everything she had shared with her loyal companion. There was no escaping the pain or the bleak reality of her situation of a loveless life, and Bette was at a loss to find a way to fix it.
She lay flat on her back staring at a thin crack in the ceiling, craving for a way out of the abyss. Racking her brain for an answer, the only solution she reasoned that would lessen the pain caused by the emptiness she felt was to dull it medicinally.
Clad in a white tank and a worn pair of gray pajama bottoms, Bette started her search in the bathroom for pain relievers, prescription drugs, anything and everything that would do the trick. Only standard over the counter meds littered the cabinet shelves. Determined, she forged on to the kitchen, singularly focused in her quest; she would scour every room in the house for any kind of numbing agent if needed be. Hell, she’d even call a favor from the reliable source next door if necessary.
Rummaging through the kitchen drawers and cabinets yielded no pain medicine, only the standard kitchenware, cleaning supplies and a box of rodenticide, which she currently held in her right hand. As Bette was about to toss the box back under the sink, a fleeting thought flashed before her.
What if?
Gone was the original thought, replaced with another, which propagated others still until the final one grabbed hold, forcing Bette to examine the box more closely. The warning label and key ingredients allowed her to develop the last “what if” further.
Hmm I can attempt to dull the pain temporarily, but it will still be there once whatever painkiller I can get a hold of wears off. Oror, I can rid myself of the pain permanently. Hmm …?
She slowly stood from the crouched position, giving her knees a welcomed relief. The box of rat poison held firm in her grip, Bette seriously considered her next move. Unconsciously, she began turning the box over in her hand, all outside sound seemed to fade away, and the stillness she came home to last night returned as she laboriously weighed the options.
Temporary or permanent? Temporary or permanent? Temporary or permanent?
Slowly and with a newfound sense of clarity, Bette’s mind came to a decision. Justified by the last control remaining to her, the decision to live or die seemed so obvious.
Control. She used to have it in spades, from work to home. Bette had control over most aspects of her life. Where had it gone? A bitter laugh escaped as she realized how quickly one tragic lack in judgment had strip away the very essence that ruled the erstwhile successful woman. If she knew then just how desperate she would become when she still had the power, the control, to say no, she would have never allowed the seduction to go any further than mere flirting.
What remained of her pathetic existence that constituted any worth, any value, any meaning to this once prideful woman? Bette had lost it all when she lost control over herself the previous year. This decision was her hasty attempt at regaining some kind of control over her life. The choice was hers alone.
A sad smile stretched across her face, as if in acknowledgement. She felt liberated knowing the answer. What else could she do?
Bette chose death.
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No!!, don’t let her do this. Bette has so much to live for even if Tina is not in her life. Send Shane back over quickly, so that she will not take her life. Thanks for the post.
You know you are the only author that has actually put this into words…as I’m sure it was a thought for a lot of people. How could someone not think along this line when they feel so down and that everything has been taken away…really when your as low as Bette is here, what is the option…sad but true….So now where are you going from here….pls post again and soon…very truthful writing!!
Whooaaa!! i can’t believe you did it!!lol bette kill herself…for tina…for her lost life! i think it’s kind of possible! great chapter!thanks!
Bette’s character is way too strong for this!!!!!!!
dsgjklhsdkgjasdh NO bette cant die!!!send tina to save her so tina can see how big of an ass she is!! !or shane!!! just dont kill her pleeeease!!!lol thanx for the post though!!!
Will her death get Tina back, make Tina regret? I doubt it. Bette, no need to die for someone who doesn’t care or love you.
I thought Bette was trying to kill herself back in S2 when she walked into the pool. Then, in typical IC fashion, nothing was ever said of that incident again. But in S3 or S4—Tina’s not worth it.
Great Chapter!!! Please do not let Bette Die. Let Shane find her and take her to the Hospital. Tina is not worth it. Fight Bette Fight
Please don’t scratch it. I was considering writing something like this, but I knew I wouldn’t have the courage to post it, so I didn’t bother. The hopelessness you portray in Bette reflects in real life what some people go through when they feel their world has come undone. The grief is so tangible and felt to the core of your being that you can’t imagine it will get any better… In Bette’s case, what makes it so much worse is that she blames herself for everything that happened between her and Tina… when in fact they both are to blame. Thanks for a great post…
tortured and tragic… thank you for exploring this difficult subject matter. Please continue.
Wow…so intense, so raw. Very truthful writing!!! Will Bette succeed in her attempt at having the ultimate control over her own life? Holding my breath for the next chapter. Thank you!
Rough and raw. Hope there’s more soon. Also hope Bette sees another way or is shown another way.
Please do NOT scratch this chapter. This is a dark place where someone like Bette would have very well gone. I for one would like you to continue to explore this abyss that would cause an Alpha-type to choose to succumb. To have control and then spiral out of control can lead you to make very desperate decisions…but only you can make those choices to regain your soul. Thank you for going down this path…I look forward to where it leads.
Plausible that she would think this, but not that she would actually attempt it. Bring back the voice of Melvin in her head, that’s where her strength comes from. It may also be where her stubborness and drive come from, but that voice will get her through this alive. In the end Melvin was right, she supported Tina and Tina’s baby, and for what, nothing. Don’t give her your life too.
damn..you are brave. Just don’t let her die. Please
well, i hope tina or shane will save her on time…since you promised some light, i’ll wait patiently
Nooooo, please don’t kill Bette off! I’m with Dainty on this one: Send Shane over, asap!
Not with rat poison! That is so undignified. First time reader of your posts – I loved it. Thanks for the beautiful writing.
Bette sees no other noble way out of her predicament. I doubt she’ll fight off an outside intervention, but will do nothing to insure such an intervention occurs. She’s tired of swimming upstream and never having anyone truly “get it.” Brava, Bette! But will you get your release?
i have been reading this site for months now and it’s my first time to comment i read this story and cryed i hope somebody finds her in time because we did’nt find our friend in time and rat poison is not a nice death to watch got to go “sobbing
If Bette chose death than the only person she really fell is herself, I’m too done and heartbroken