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    The Journey 38

    Tina: “I think I get the idea.” I say kindly and I do get it.

    Bette: “What about you Tee, why did you never put yours back on?”

    Tina: I think for a minute before I answer, God there are so many reasons why. “It made it more real, every time I looked at it, it made what happened more real.”

    Bette: Wordlessly I accept Tina’s explanation. I squeeze Tina a little to let her know I am not angry. I am upset and I wonder if she will wear it again, if she ever want to wear it again but angry I am not. I let go of Tina and reach up to my chain. I unclip it and hold it my right hand. I kiss it, silently saying a prayer.

    Tina: I am alarmed that Bette has let go of me. “Baby, where are going?”

    Bette: “No where Tee, just give me a second.” I reach out and turn Tina’s right hand palm up. I silently place the chain and ring in her hand. I gently close her hand.

    Tina: I look at the ring and chain for a second before Bette closes my hand. Her hand is still with mine. I think how happy we were when the rings and the chain we given. “Bette, I don’t understand?”

    Bette: I have always believed that fortune favours the brave. I also believe that giving Tina back the ring she gave me is a sign of hope and trust and strength and passion, a willingness to let go of the past, a future I want with her but she has to want enough with me. “Tee, I want you to keep it. Keep it until you are ready to give it back to me. You are here with me I no longer need it to remind me.” I feel lost without it around my neck. I nuzzle my nose into the back of her neck. “If or when you are ready, then you give it back to me.”

    Tina: “Bette, I am ready now.”

    Bette: “Tee, I want to believe that, I want so much for that to be true, but we both know that is not the case.” I move to sit on the table, I move my wine up there with me and take a sip as I wait for Tina to turn and face me. Her beauty in the dim light is not lost on me. I reach out and take both her hands. “Tee, I want to wear that ring, I want you to be my wife and me your wife. But I think we are a way off that just now. We’ve made start though, no? A good start?” I try to lighten things a little as I tilt my head trying to make eye contact with Tina who is firmly looking down. I reach out and touch her hair. “You need to trust me Tee and to forgive me. Can you say that you 100% are there on those things?”

    Page 2 of 3123

    Comments

    1. That was deep. Emotions such as forgivness are never easy, but the only way to get past them is to talk through them. I want them both to be strong and open w/ one another.Wonderful chapter, please post again soon.

    2. Tackling the complex issue of trust is not easy and love can only take you so far. Until Tina can actually accept that Bette’s error, though incredibly painful, was just that… an error, she will have doubts about trust and be unable to forgive. Once she accepts that Bette wants things to change & thankfully Bette is not just willing to go back to status quo, Tina can begin the process of forgiving and moving forward… to a new trust and a NEW relationship, the old one doesn’t exist anymore. I’m not sure that Bette is right about bringing others into the bedroom. I think SHE needs to accept that this too has changed… they cannot erase what happened.Wonderful chapter.

    3. in a way i agree with tina but she has to cut bette some slack forgive and forget. its aparent they still love each but time will tell if she ever gets tinas heart again.

    4. “If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing. For we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things. At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known. So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” Patience IS a virtue.

    5. This is so bittersweet. Tina loves Bette but cannot forgive or trust her…that’s very sad. You can only hope Tina can open her heart again and let Bette in completely. You cannot really and truly love someone until then. Please continue.

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