If you are reading this, it means that I am no longer with you, that my time on this earth, my precious time with you is over. You don’t know how much it breaks my heart to write this, I don’t want to say my last goodbye to you. I’m writing you a letter because I’m not sure if I will have the strength to tell you this to your face. As I write tears fall from my eyes and I willingly let them, you see as they trickle over my lips I taste you off them. My tears are laced with you, as is every other part of me. Alice I hope you know that there is a large part of my heart that belongs to you and you alone. Without you in my life, I would never have accomplished half of my proudest moments. I would never have met my incredible friends, because we all know that without you Alice we would never have found each other, you hold us together. I would never have gotten so far with my tennis. I know you don’t believe that, but Alice, every time I was being beaten, every time I felt like giving in, I’d stop and think what would Alice say. I knew you’d say, “get out there Fairbanks and kick some ass” or simply that you had every faith in me, it made me smile, it made me carry on. I never would’ve come out to my parents, to everyone. Having you there by my side gave me an unbelievable strength, you see Alice with you by my side I believed that I could do anything.

Of all the people in this world you are the one person I don’t want to leave the most. You said you couldn’t live without me, Alice how can I spend an eternity without you. I’m scared of being alone, what if there really is a life after this one, how can I live it without you by my side. For 10 years you have taken up such a huge part of my life, I have shared so many special moments with you, things only shared between us. I’m connected to you in a way I never thought possible and that’s what makes this all the harder because we know exactly what each other is going through. I know the pain you’ll go through after I am gone, the tears you’ll cry and how your heart will break. Right here I want you to promise me that will try and move on. I’m not saying don’t grieve for me, I know that’s not possible, I mean when it gets hard remember the goods times we shared. Alice there are plenty of them, let them make you laugh and smile. Trust in our wonderful friends to help you through and when you need me I will be there. Feel me touch your face and stare into those beautiful eyes as I wipe away the tears. I will always be by your side whispering I love you, that much I do promise you. Even though I will be gone, I will remain by your side taking every step with you. I will always make you feel the love I have for you and I will try in every way to send you a reminder that I truly love you. When you look out of the window and the sun breaks through a dark cloud, it will be me telling you I love you. When you wake to the birds singing they are telling you that I miss you. And when the waves crash over your feet, or the wind breezes over you face, that will be me letting you know that I am right there by your side, forever and always there. So when you think of me out of the blue, just remember it is all the kisses I have blew through the air finally catching up with you. I will spend the rest of your life sending kisses through the air, hoping they meet your lips, the place my kisses belong. To me you are my rose, every time I see a beautiful rose I think of you and I hope in heaven I am surrounded by beautiful roses, I will miss and I hope, no I know that one day in heaven I will hold you in my arms again.

All of my love forever and always, Dana.xxxx