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The Newly Discovered SoCal Humminger Bette Porterius ~ Chapter 18
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Arabella wanted Bette. Bette sensed that that was a reason that the sculptor had not yet committed to Bette’s representation. The gallery owner wasn’t averse to sleeping with an artist to seal a deal, as long as the artist was female and of consenting age and sanity. Arabella, though, was playing a complicated game and Bette knew to keep her distance until she could figure out its rules and plot a strategy.
“Bette, you are a beautiful dinner bell.”
Bette laughed. “You both best mosey on over to the chow wagon.”
“I’m sorry to be so much trouble with my special diet.”
“Fuck!” Bette thought. Bette said, “You assistant didn’t mention a special diet.” Bette was certain that Jane had not made a mistake. “But I’m sure the caterer can prepare something for you.”
“My assistant,” Arabella shook her head. “Very hard working and very devoted. She has some flaws, though.”
Bette recognized that this had not been accidental and was a test.
“I’ll send the caterer to speak with you.”
“Tell him it’s the 80-40-50 Diet. You should try it, Bette. It’s very cleansing.” Arabella paused and then smiled seductively and continued in a lower voice, “I hear that you can get a little dirty.”
“Nowhere that anyone could see.”
Bette had excused herself but instead of moving to the next group of guests, she went directly to the kitchen.
“Fucking self-important bitch.”
Though Michel hadn’t heard Bette enter, he heard the outburst and headed towards the voice.
“Michel, one of the damned guests claims to be on a special 80-40-50 diet. Do you have any idea what the fuck that is?”
Michel was certain he kept abreast of all of LA’s current diet fads but he had had to admit to Bette that it was unfamiliar.
“Fuck fuck fuck. She’s doing this deliberately so she can claim later that the gallery isn’t up to even a simple challenge.” Bette reached her left hand to her right shoulder and began to rub as she thought for a few moments. She then announced, “Alice will know.”
Alice had been retrieved and Bette’s reliance on her friend’s knowledge of all pop culture had been correct.
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I love all the detail your using, and filling in the missing gaps for us! I knew Tina would have left it. Dude if Bette was touching me like that… I would have jumped her right there. I can’t wait to see what happens next. PLEASE POST SOON!
Did I mention I love this story? I love love love this story… And it has been the most intelligent, articulate and grin-inducing experience by far, today… (though it was a fine enough day). Thank you! :-)))
Joining in the chorus of thank you and wonderful details. The banter, Arabella, Alice, Tilly, just super to be entertained so thoroughly and intelligently.
Just perfect, as always.
i’m gonna try that diet…is it actually real thing? i should google it LOL loved this update…it was hilarious and cute…perfect…eric is getting on my nerves
All the intrigue has me entranced. Bette and Tina should conspire together to off Eric, ala “Les Diaboliques”. Eric is a tool, and a not very sharp one at that. Thanks!
Damn Eric! At least Tina left her earring. This was a funny chapter. Can’t wait for more. PPS!!
Excellent update. Love it. Thank you. And now when are we going to get rid of Eric. He’s so annoying. :) Thank you again!
Gotta love that allergy season with all that humming going on.
Spumoni, I love the way you relayed their thoughts as they were glancing at each other and your flirty banter was brilliant. I have often wondered what attracted Bette to Alice and the only one I too could come up with was the humour and fun in Alice. Keep ’em coming Spumoni…this was superb!
Way to go Tina, and Eric needs to remember that Tina can talk for herself.
Love the frequent posts from you. Hopefully Anabella has got a good set of teeth…..Eric is a brat, Tina needs to delete him from her life. Bette is smitten. Great story and Thank you!
Great update,Ilove this story.Thank you
ahhh… the mystery had been solved. Tina did leave the earring… I’m humming my way back to catch up on this story from the beginning. Great stuff!
You left me teary…with that Anabella person. Mammals and floor tiles covered in sauce…lol Actually this post was like finding the missing part of the story that we never got to see. Perfectly narrated too. Thank you!
It’s OK if you read comments more than once, it’s only fair cause we read your stories more than once. I reread your first, ‘Halloween’ story just last night. I’m going to save the Thanksgiving story you gave us last year next month. Now let me go read this chapter for the first time.
I agree with Sammer, Eric is getting on my nerves. Well, well, well, Tina did leave her earring behind. Both B&T hurt by Eric’s manly thinking. I hope Bette finds out the truth about Tina’s early departure. I was sad when Alice finally realized that there wasn’t going to be a chance with Bette. Great update.
Eric is reeeealllly getting on my nerves. I love the way you’re writing this with all the details, the flirty dialogue and the thoughts behind the actions. Please post again soon. I wonder if Bette will hum when she finds the earring…
So Eric couldn’t phone a bloody taxi? If he wanted to leave so badly, he should’ve… left. No matter, Tina’s left a blatant excuse to come back to the gallery. Regardless of what Eric has said, there’s no way Bette can misread that signal. I think Eric’s going to be history sooner rather than later. I loved Bette’s internal reasoning as to why she chose Alice, and why she’s having the reaction to Tina that she is. And I love, as always, the banter, the dialogue, the insights into Ms Porter and Ms Kennard. Great post, Spumoni. Thank you :)
Now, is serving Anna, er uh, Arabella a plate full of gristle anyway to woo an artiste? Such a poseuse probably would be a good match for Eric. So, the secret lesbian handshake evidently does not include finger pulling. What a relief. Or not. May we hear the conversations Tina has with Bron and Bette has with Susannah in our next installment as the ladies try to figure it out?
Ok…I reread it again…Love the whole Brit speak. Forsooth! Knight in shining Armani! Smite! Feats of valor! Oh, so, so clever TLW-Bard!!!
Imagine this Spumoni…one back flip, two back flip with a twist, three back flip with a twist and a happy dance!!! Wow…great chappy…love the sexual tension…mystery solved…it is the oldest trick in the book that Tina did!!! I really, really, really loved this chapter…besides all the fun and flirting…my favorite part was Bette figuring out that Tina was going to be her “safe place in life.” Wow…that was deep and full of truth. Thanks for writing. You’re so awesome!
Fantastic chapter! I loved the flirting. Eric’s an asshole. Nice move Tina :) Thanks for the long update. PPS
aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh so that’s the message T left for Bette. A perfect chapter. More soon plz
wonderfully narrated….I loved the banter between Bette and Tina….AH so she left the earring….so glad….and Eric…hmm he is annoying and tacky so very much unlike Bette
wonderfully narrated….I loved the banter between Bette and Tina….AH so she left the earring….so glad….and Eric…hmm he is annoying and tacky so very much unlike Bette
My gawd this was brilliant!!!~and with an execution to match! Thanks!
You can’t imagine the smile on my face when I saw this installment on the main page. It was huge, and yet it required serious wrestling with myself because I have a project that needs to get done today and will probably mean I can’t move from the computer till very, very late tonight. But whatever, I’d rather stay up later than wait to read this. So, actual comment now. I, too, read all my comments more than once. It’s just so much fun! And have I told you just how much I adore this story? It’s the details, the artists never contributing anything to the parties, the mammal-restricted sexual omnivore (Hah! Arabella and a dolphin lol), the David Bowie vs. Elton John shiny suits. You just manage to paint the picture of the night so incredibly well that I can see it. And yes, I agree with funnyone, Bronwyn and Susannah for the win! Oh, and one more thing. I would have kicked Eric’s ass for blaming the leaving on me. It’s one thing to use the “Bette has a headache” excuse when Bette was the one who wanted to leave, but to use the “Tina has to get back to work” when you’re the one who has to? Why can’t you accept that you’re the one to blame, jerk!?
spumoni, you are my all time favorite author! i simply like all your stories and the pacing of this one is simply amazing, i hope you post soon.