Chapter 10

At Shane’s

’Talk about what?’

’About us…’

’There is no us Carmen!’

Carmen’s eyes welled up and she whispered

‘But there was an us…’

‘Carmen…I don’t know if I am ready to talk to you yet‘

‘Woah…you left me Shane, remember? You ran away! I think it would be my place to not be ready to talk to you! So please…you owe me an explanation…’

‘I owe you nothing but an apology. I’m sorry that it seemed like I ran from you but I told you before that I don’t do relationships. I don’t fall in love because I can’t!’

‘Don’t say that, ok!? Everybody can fall in love. Maybe you got hurt in the past, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fall in love!’

‘I can’t and maybe I don’t want to fall in love. The more you love someone, the more you get hurt! This may sound corny, but ….but you don’t want me. I’m damaged goods.’

They both had tears in their eyes. Shane got up from her bed and went in the kitchen. Carmen had to steady herself before she was able to follow her. She caught up with her, when Shane was about to open her beer. She stood right in front of Shane, her tears now running over her cheeks and she said with anger, frustration and desperation in her voice.

‘For Christ’s sake, we’re all damaged goods. I’m wandering around through life without knowing what I’m doing half the time…but I know that I can love. I know that I can love you. I know that I do love you.’

Shane looked up in shock to meet Carmens eyes. Her beerbottle fell to the floor. Did she really hear the words? No that is not going to happen.

‘I won’t let you love me.’

‘Why?’

Carmen was also shocked to hear that response to her confession. Shane wasn’t able to speak right away. Her heart was breaking but she was sure that it was the only way. The words didn’t come out easily.

‘I won’t let you love me because…because I love you.’

‘You love me?’ Carmen sobbed heavily

‘I have to go!’ She tried to get to the back door but Carmen caught her arm.