Fan Fiction
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ThE RING MASTER3
“Run SHANE!”
I run with Carmen not far behind. I run and run and I don’t et tired. We make turns trying to lost them but they are still behind. We go past a fruit market and Carmen turns a table over full of apples and shit. We keep running and Carmen is laughing at the two guys who stumbled and fell over the apples. We keep running and we still have two behind us. At least this time there is no shooting. We go over a fence but Carmen didn’t start running again. She got down to her knees.
“What are you doing lets keep moving”
“Shut up!” she said and then the two pigs jumped the fence. They didn’t noticed Carmen behind them so they were looking at me. They took out their guns and pointed at me. ‘NOW WHAT’ was all I was thinking. My heart was beating and all I saw was the gun in their hands… just one push and that bullet was in my face. Then Carmen stood up and touched the shoulder of one of the pigs. He turned around and she pushed his gun to the side, punched him and when the other pig looked back, she hits him in the face with the gun, punched the first pig again hard in the face until he fell to the floor, then got to her side and gave the other one a hard kick on the face making him fall to the floor to. The she started running again and it took me a couple of seconds to run after her, because I was amazed… she is amazing, she know what she’s doing and I know she must have trained or something, no one fights like that… no one. I run but then I stop because I don’t see her. I make a turn and I’m exhausted but I don’t want to loose her… I need to talk to her. But she’s nowhere to be found. When I finally give up and stop, so I can breath I hear a hard falling noise behind me. Like if someone jumped to the floor behind me. I turn around and there she is. She’s all sweating and with a dirty face. I look up to see from where she just jumped…
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(34 votes, average: 3.44 out of 5)
Hey you. :) I read this story at the other site, too. I’m telling you, I love this story. The grammar and usage can be a teeny bit distracting at times, but I know you’re ‘in-between betas’ right now, so that’s alright. ;) Besides, I can always understand what you mean. Either way, the story itself – the storyline, the characters, etc – is fantastic; I really like what you’ve done with it. I like that it’s seems a little otherworldly – I thought the first scene in this chap was a dream – but at the same time it feels like maybe that CAN be the future. Keep it up.
Ooops! I meant “it seems” not “it’s seems”. :P *****