Closer.  I needed to be closer.  Yet if anything, the clothing that separated us made the contact even more explosive. 

Our lips fused in motion.  Her tongue was captured in my mouth and mine willingly ceded into her moist warmth. 

Engrossed and attentive, we stroked everywhere our tongues could caress while sharing heated breaths. Desire sparked as our bodies moved in accord.  Familiarity with each other’s reaction enhanced our foreplay. 

Bette’s aroused moan, though subtle was precisely what I sought.  Between us I’ve always been more expressive vocally when making love.  As such I treasured her somewhat measured reactions all the more.  The quiet way her body responded to mine. 

Gently breaking our kiss I looked directly into her passion filled eyes.  Bracing myself with both arms, hands flat on each side just above her shoulders I raised myself above her.  Our lower bodies were still synchronized in calculated movement as we pressed into one another.

Exerting what little control I had left on my increasingly erratic breathing I muttered huskily, “Right now Baby, all I want to be is on top.”

—

A car alarm set off outside the building broke my trance.  I got up hoping to relieve the stiff uneasiness coursing through me.  Gathering a handful of the lace curtain, I peered outside catching a glimpse of the presumed owner frantically searching for his keys. 

Taking a breath I stepped away from my vantage point just as the blaring noise cut off.  Tense fingers moved to smooth down a crease on Bette’s note.  My limbs returned from the memory to the present as my mind had just seconds before.  Working my way back to the sofa, I lowered myself in the spot still warm from my earlier occupancy.

Raising and straightening it, I read parts of the note again.

‘Tickets for Saturday enclosed.  I hope you can both make it.’  Helena and I already agreed on going.  She wanted to see it, as did I.  We talked about it one night after reading an announcement in the paper.

‘Wishing you the best for tomorrow and always.’  Oh Bette.  I want that for you too. 

‘A contribution to get the collection started for your library.  I’m confident you’ll persevere.’  Looking at the books, I was reminded how thoughtful she could be.  Mingled with that sentiment a bittersweet reminder of the baby we’d lost.  Our son.

Placing her note on the table I reached for the bound book of quotations laying open to the marked page.  Holding it with my elbows resting on my thighs I scanned the page.  Upon closer inspection, I saw a penciled mark – carefully done and unobtrusive as it lay on the margin of the page. 

"Don’t cry because it’s over.  Smile because it happened." – Theodor Seuss Geisel

A soft sigh escaped as I sat in the apartment that was my new home.  In that moment though, it felt and just seemed to masquerade as such.  Closing the book I clasped it with both hands and brought it to my chest. 

Contrary to what he suggested and instead of doing just the latter, I couldn’t help it. 

I did both.