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The Thawing of the Ice – Chapter Thirty-Nine
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Chapter Thirty-Nine
Tina couldn’t seem to stop herself. She knew she was pushing, but she couldn’t stop. An hour after leaving Bette’s in tears, she picked up her cell phone and waited for the call to connect.
“What do you want, Bette? Do you even want to try?” she asked as soon as she heard the familiar voice.
“Tee, are you okay?” came the response.
“Please don’t ignore my questions. Please be honest with me.”
Bette rubbed on her neck, frustration coloring her cheeks. “I won’t ignore your questions, Tee. I know you’re trying really hard. But I don’t know what I want. I really don’t. That’s the honest answer.”
Heavy laden lids closed at the response. Tina felt her stomach churn. She felt sick and hot at the same time. “Why?” she asked. “Why don’t you know?”
A heated sigh rushed from Bette’s lungs and she struggled to keep her frustration from sounding like anger. It was getting harder and harder to do so. “Because we always hurt each other. We can’t seem to get it right. There’s so much pain between us. I don’t know if I can be with you and not feel pain.”
The truth stung and more tears slid from red-rimmed amber eyes. “I would never hurt you, Bette.”
“I thought you would never hurt me either. And I swore I would never hurt you. But now…now all I can feel is hurt. If I told you that I didn’t want to get back together, you’d be crushed. I would be crushed. But I can’t honestly say that I do. I can’t tell you that when I’m not sure.”
Tina sobbed. “What do you need to be sure?”
“I don’t know!” Bette sobbed in response.
“Do you love me?”
“I’ll always love you, Tina.”
“Are you in love with me?”
Bette closed her eyes and fresh set of tear slipped beneath her lids. She knew the answer and she knew the answer would destroy Tina. Should she lie? Should she avoid the question? Was it possible to pretend as though she hadn’t heard it?
Tina sobbed in her ear.
Tina. She had loved this woman. Loved her enough to sacrifice her pride and dignity for a glimpse of this woman’s smile. Loved her enough to start a life together and plan a family of their own.
This was her Tina.
Before Candace and Henry and Helena, this was her Tina. The beautiful blonde with the twinkling eyes and the buoyant spirit.
Her ex-lover’s tear strained voice crashed into the river of her thoughts. “Bette, please. Are you in love with me?”
Bette’s face was wet when she closed her eyes yet again and answered simply, “No.”
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Heart broken for Tina, Tibette, Angie…all of us Tibetters…very, very sad. I guess, we asked for honesty…here it is.
Finally. Thank you, Bette.
yeah, what pekegal said, we keep asking that bette should be honest with tina, and we got what we wanted but now you’ve done it, you made me tear up…well, i guess now bette is free to explore her feelings for helena…i have a feeling that the journey is far from over and anything can happen, so there’s still hope
Talking about a tale of two cities…can’t say it’s the best of times for anyone, but it sure is the worst of times for all of our girls… Okay, the next post has to bring a ray of sunshine…pwetty pwease…the conversation between B and T was palpable…amazing…
Finally, it’s out there! Boy did it hurt! Maybe now they can heal & like Helena has already started, go though the process of growing; growing into being whole and not broken. Who knows, perhaps BnT will find their way back to each other?! What ever happens MTS, it’s anawesome fic!!
I have been silently reading this story but, given all the commotion, I would like to make a few comments. You are a very talented writer with excellent domain of the written language. I believe that the reason why you’ve been getting a certain kind of criticism has to do with two main issues. First, the title “The Thawing of the Ice” and the beginning of the story implied the rebuilding of the Tibette relationship. Then Bette started flip-flopping and the story turned into a Belena relationship. In a way, your story was playing with two camps and one was likely to feel disappointed. As it is shaping up, the Tibette camp seems to be the losing camp, which kind of deflates the implication of the title, in my opinion. But of course the title may still imply that the ice in question was Bette’s heart, which is fine. The readers, myself included, may have misinterpreted the writer’s intentions and wanted to see love where there was none. Second, I guess when a writer owns the characters and the readers don’t know them, anything can happen. But in the TLW fanfic world, we the readers know these characters and so, we are more likely to be inquisitive regarding some of their actions. And this is not meant as an offense to the writer. From all we know of Bette, she doesn’t easily forgive and forget. You show this in the way she relates to Tina. She is also very loyal to her friends, from her own words. And she doesn’t easily love. She may easily lust sometimes, but not love. Still, she was able to not only forgive and forget her emotional baggage with Helena, but to profess her love for Helena and call her a best friend in a very small amount of time. One wonders where Alice stands, even if Tina is not the best friend any longer. She is also showing an emotional dependence on Helena which is not healthy. I, quite frankly, don’t see where this overwhelming need for Helena comes from. The TLW Helena did not have qualities that could attract Bette. She was not gentle and soft and in touch with her emotions (like Tina or Shane), not an accomplished professional (like Jodi, Tina at first, or even Candace), not fun (like Alice or Dana) and not an intelligent woman either. I liked Helena, but she was not any of the things that Bette values. In my view, I agree with Tina when she said in S5 that Bette and Helena could never fall for each other; they are too much alike (in temper). But you have given Helena some qualities that the original Helena never had. She has some artistic talent and also seems to be able to read Bette and her emotions just like Tina. This Helena is a mix of Jodi and Tina, especially Tina, in her emotional support and understanding of Bette, and so, she is more likely to attract Bette. As a reader, I tend to struggle with changes in the characters, but this is your story, not mine. However … is Bette exchanging a blonde Tina for a brunette one? One who likes to cook for Bette and is gentle and understanding, and gives Bette advice all the time? It feels like déjà vu. Still, the baggage of their past rivalry lingers in the background and cannot be ignored, or at least, I can’t. This is my problem with Helena and Bette together. But even considering your Helena, Bette’s emotions are exaggerated and, in my opinion, out of place, regarding both Tina and Helena. She reacts with fear around Tina and she is holding on to Helena like a lifeline way too quickly. Not good either way. The only way I can explain this behavior is that Bette is in as much emotional trouble now as she was when she “fell” for Candace. In which case, she is not good for Tina and not good for your Helena. I think this Bette is depressed and needs to spend some time with a good psychiatrist. She seems unable to figure herself out and is likely to continue hurting people in her life. And, of course, this is just the opinion of a TLW fan trying to understand your characters.
Tina had to push her but I’m glad Bette finally told the truth. Not the whole truth but hopefully that will come soon. There’s no need for Bette to prolong the full extent of the pain. The truth hurts (it’ll hurt even worse when she finds out everything, the true nature of Bette’s relationship with Helena etc.), but Tina can move forward, focus on working on herself, and most of all being the best parent she can be to Angie. I’m hoping Tina will handle it all with grace & class. Then maybe somewhere along the way she’ll find a great partner who can show her that it’s possible to find that amazing love again. Not now though. None of them need to be looking for a relationship right now. Certainly, a therapist, but not a relationship. Thanks for the story and for posting twice.
I agree with ff_follower. That was what I was referring to a while ago in that it may be a little bit of case of transference. Bette recognises the traits in Helena that once let her fall so hard and fast for Tina. She doesn’t recognise or even trust that those traits reside within Tina any longer and so she doesn’t recognise Tina at all anymore. But all the things that made her feel love and nurtured and safe and secure she’s imprinted upon Helena and so it isn’t any less profound for her. Its what her inner child craves and needs to feel loved and not abandoned again.
MANY MANY dittos for ff_follower’s comment above. She summarizes all reasons why I have had so much trouble getting used to the new Bette and Helena.
OUCH! Honesty can be a killer. I don’t think Bette’s been stringing Tina along at all. I think she’s been unsure of her own feelings and now that she’s figured them out she doesn’t want to pain Tina deeply (or run teh risk of Tina reacting in a vengeful way). I still wnat to know what are the “horrible things” that Tina did to Bette; is it more than Henry and Helena? Something worse than denying Bette access to Angie? Now the truth is out there and Bette can work on winning Helena over despite her oppostition (for Bette’s benefit). So when does Helena get back from France? I’m sure Bette will have some grand gesture planned for her arrival. can’t wait to read what happens next; post soon, (pretty please)
Finally, Tina is the one who made bette admit. Score for Tina’s maturity and bravenes and for being direct to the point and not the unsure and insecure Bette. I agree w/ ff_follower. Bette longed and needed all Tina’s qualities and because B&T are no longer together, and B&H lives and see each other everyday, she is now seeing all the old Tina qualities she fell in love with (after Helena lost her money from Peggy). Tina is still the original holder of all those caring, loving, good traits qualities of the woman Bette totally fell inloved with. with or without inheritance. I’m happy for Tina that she will finally be able to be free of Bette’s unastable behavior. Tina will sure meet a lot of person that she will continue to grow and offer her love that will accept her unconditionally. Bette and Helena will be like Tiger and Lion, cousins in the jungle. I’m actually relived that Tina is now and can start to move on after maybe a few tears here and there for formality sake of being a heartbroken. Thanks MTS.
One woman just got her heart broken, the other woman is in the dark. Bette’s in the middle. How they all deal with the aftermath when a certain email gets read… there’s going to be drama, some guilt, and more heartache. Great chapters, thanks for the double post, MTS. :)
Thank you Bette, and thank you MTS for the story. Have a good ride y’all!
So sad. But honest. In the end that’s the best we can hope for.
Great writing. Bette doesn’t need a new committed relationship right now. She needs, IMO, therapy and time to be on her own. I don’t know if a sexual relationship is something she needs except for natural desire. Is it good to go from Tina to Helena?
I am and will always be a TiBetter. Plz tell me if there is hope for TiBetters. Plz Plz. Dont break my heart. Or this is it for Tina. and I should say bye to ur story. Plz ans. And I do love ur writing. But cant take a Belena over TiBette.
Oh yeah, and I KNOW FOR SURE Ilene must have been freebasing hard core when she wrote the s6 series finale!!!!:P
This tale is so heart shattering. The funny thing is after reading all the great fanfic stories over the years there were plenty of times that I very much enjoyed a good Belena pairing. Alot of them were non canon or where Tina was not so much in the storyline so it was easier to indulge in. I suppose its why this one is so impossible for me to take because Tina is part of the triangle and she’s about to get kicked off the island and probably drown in despair. Just like in S3 I really feel like Tina (and by some extension, LH) got screwed over both literally and figuratively by the writing. It really felt unimaginative and lazy for them to make Tina behave the way she did without properly explaining her motives and direction. It was like ok well what do we do now since JB is pregnant. Hell I know we need to bring up the bitterly fun topic of how some women go back to men…..why don’t we just conceniently sacrifice Tina, after all she’s only just reunited with her long time spouse and is bringing up a new born now. Let’s smash a friggen wrench right through that window and see how much we can fuk this all up again. I believe I can speak for many of us when I say that S3 was like a horrible dream (not to mention Dana getting axed) and that the writers seemed like they were all freebasing in the production meetings and couldn’t come up with anything remotely resembling anything close to the show we all loved and recognised up to that point. So in as much that your writing is so compelling not to mention cleverly anxiety inducing (and I really wish I could stay away and not torture myself) your story is such a painful reminder of the debacle that was S3. And to add insult to injury incorporating a love affair between Helena and Bette in a s3 remix makes me shutter at the cruel irony of it all for Tina. The writers make her catatonic and when she finally snaps out of it she finds that reality is in fact worse than the nightmare with her discovery of B&H. Talk about your worst case scenario for Tina, and I really feel sympathetic towards her. I don’t know how on earth you are going to pull off a happily ever after with this giganticly upsetting mess of drama. Glad you’re writing it not me. But whatever the outcome could you please keep that door slammed shut on Henry. He doesn’t belong here and never did. Thanks MTS2.
Wow, again two very emotional and outstanding chapters. Now that Tina has her answer lets see what she’s going to do with it. As for Bette, I’m glad she was honest with Tina and didn’t try to safe her from hurt by twisting the truth. I really think Bette needs to be in a new relationship and Tina should stay single for a while and think about what she wants other than Bette. Sorry but she was the one who jumped from relationship to relationship after Bette’s affair, whereas Bette stayed single and fought for Tina and her getting back together up to the time when Tina declared she had feelings for men and jumped into a relationship with Henry. As for the story I really can see Bette and Helena starting a relationship together but as you said in your AN you are the puppeteer and I must say I really enjoy how you pull the strings of your ‘puppets’. Thanks a lot for putting up with us readers and please continue with your excellent work.
Noooooooo!!! Can’t stop crying. Very sad day for me. My heart is broken for ever!!!
OMG! What a way to start my morning! Seeing this story posted again so soon brought an immediate smile to my face. Then, it quickly turned to a sad face. (pout) Heart-wrenching chapter. You’ve done it, woman! You’ve made me ‘feel’ for Tina. Gosh darn-it! I wanted to not like her or feel anything but annoyance. However, you’ve cleverly been able to make me actually feel sorry for her in the last few chapters. But don’t get it twisted; because I am not sad enough to want her with Bette Now, Helena and Bette need to work out whatever demons each has. It seems like a lot of insecurity between them. They are both women whom I wold think wouldn’t have to be so doubtful about deserving more and better for themselves. Hmmm at any rate… let’s thaw some more ice! Come home, Helena! You and Bette have a relationship to work out between you. I’m still keeping fingers crossed that they will be together. But, I never know what you’ll do next. =) PPVS!
OOOOOOOOOYEAH!!:)) Me, as a drama loving reader can’t wait to see what happening next!! You really really really made it interesting!Attention ettention, drama ahead!!:)Can’t wait to see what you’ve stored for us!! Great great job, tnx for posting soo soon!!! Love this story!
:(
Wwwwwwwwhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I’m crushed.
Phew, heart wrenching but also freeing. Lets see what more you have in store for us.
Ouch. My heart is hurting for all of them and yes this includes Helena. Circumstances and events led them here and regrets won’t bring them anywhere near where they want to be. It is always hard to be in love with someone and not have it returned. Your heart will always feel like it’s breaking a bit when you see them and know that you can’t have them. This is a very sad chapter. You really do write great stories. For you to be able to evoke such emotions in your readers is something every author aims for. Thanks for the post. I’ll wait for more.
wow.
Heartbroken Tibetter here :(
Finally. As much as it might hurt I don’t think Bette’s answer has come as much as a surprise to Tina; if she was feeling any love she wouldn’t have had to ask. This Tina has grown on me and I would hate to see her regress so please let her handle the rejection with dignity and self-assuredness that it’s not her desirability that is in question. She’s an amazing person and she has much to offer the right partner. Bette is old news – time to move on. Hopefully Bette will be able to balance the co-parenting with Tina along with the new romance with Helena. I didn’t comment on the previous chapter but it doesn’t sound like Helena is a sure thing either. Would be ironic to see Bette chasing after her only to be rejected; but honestly I don’t think Bette is ready for any relationship right now. She really needs to take time to herself and get some help before jumping into the next one. Still riding the rollercoaster. Thanks for the double post and for Bette finally making the right decision to be honest and upfront instead of evading, running away, or lying. Just the fact that she even thought not to answer honestly is enough for me to feel good for Tina in the long run that it’s not TiBette. Just hope Tina has a happy ending; maybe she’ll meet Sam M. now…PPS
Finally! She did it. By the way what a great story. Now back to my comment. It took Bette awhile to get there, but she finally said what needed to be said. I know some are still hoping for their favorite pairing to be together, but I guess we will all just have to wait for that moment. Love has no rules when it comes to the heart. Bette did the right thing and Tina is heartbroken from her answer. These ladies are not the same women as they were when they first got together. So it is easy for me to see Bette not being in love with this Tina. Yes she will always love her but she is not the same Tina that she fell in love with. Nor is Bette that same woman as she was before. Sometimes you just don’t want to go back and do it again, and maybe Bette has reached that point in her life. But who knows(other that the author)maybe she will end up with Tina but then again maybe she wont. And as I said before and I will say it again… great story!!
i cried on their last conversations. i can see the look of hurt on Tina’s face very sad. be strong tee
Finally some honesty from Bette, I hope that Tina handles Bette’s answer with dignity and wishes her well. I hope that Tina makes time for herself and she comes out of it a much stronger person. I hope that she isn’t going to disappear from the story, I would love to see her happy in the end and with someone who wants and loves her. Bette journey is about to begin and the same for Helena. I just want them all to be happy in the end. Thank you for the double posts.