She was lying on the bed, her arm lain over another’s stomach. The playful light streaming through the window woke her gently. She became aware of her surroundings and the being next to her. Eyes fixated on the woman she had spent the night with.

She was simply beautiful. She had a rough exterior beauty that was quelled only by the artistic nature of her personality. Bette couldn’t deny her attraction and the sudden intensity of their relationship. She adored this woman that she held for most nights during the past few months. She gazed at her again. She was always struck by her beauty, her fiery nature, and the gentility she reserved for certain people, one of them her.

She followed the light on Jodi’s face with her finger, down past her soft cheeks, nose to her full inviting lips. She caressed them and stored away the memory of their softness as one of the things she loved about her. Running her fingers through the woman’s hair she held her closer and thanked a higher being for bringing this woman into her life at a time when she was faltering. As she held her, she placed the softest kiss upon her sweet lips. She savored it, wanting it to fill up her soul.
Yet, it did not.

As much as she wanted to feel every emotion with this woman, she couldn’t.
It was like a wave, ebbing back and forth. She stood there waiting for it to engulf her, yet it never even touched her toes. She just kept waiting to feel the cool, refreshing water. But she never did. Oh how she longed to. She wished she could step foward and feel, but something was holding her back. She tried to remember when she last felt that overwhelming feeling of feer and happiness, coexisitng at the same time. Where the fear of drowning in that love was lost to the ecstasy and pleasure of being lost in it. She craved to feel it again, the thrill of not knowing where the wave was gonna take her, and to what depths the ocean would reach. The calm, comforting qualities of the ocean contrasting to the pain that it could cause. She had experienced that with Tina and she had never felt more alive.

With painful vibrato, she whispered, "Tina..".

Thankfully her quiet yet constant sobs did not wake her bedmate, who she held onto for dear life, wishing it was the whispered name.

She wanted Tina to engulf her again in a powerful wave. She was willing to give the power back that she took away and denied her so many years ago. She wanted to feel the awesome force that was Tina’s love. Comforting yet frightening in its wake.
Bette wondered when.

She looked at the woman in her arms and a sudden determination came over her. She slowly slipped out of her lover’s embrace and held her hand for as long as she possibly could knowing it was the last time she would do so. She knew what she had to do in order to feel again. She had to take a risk and step foward, she knew where she was headed now…towards Tina.