“Ok don’t get mad but how’d you feel?”

Dana formed a thin smile “Fine, didn’t feel anything really. Bit like a tanning machine but a bit more uncomfortable.”

Alice looked genuinely intrigued by this answer.

“Weird.”

“Dana Fairbanks”

The nurse checked her list, “This way please.”

Feeling slightly more like they’d just arrived for a dinner reservation than a chemotherapy appointment, Alice couldn’t help but try and lighten the mood as Dana took up her position in the comfy chair next to the drip stand.

“I’ll have a margarita and she’ll have a cosmo.”

The nurse gave Alice a slightly blank look before telling Dana that she’d be back with her medication soon. Dana had to stifle a laugh as she nodded in the nurse’s direction.

“Dork”

“Hey, she sounded like a fuckin waitress!”

“Alice!” Dana hissed

Penny, the nurse, returned shortly after and hooked Dana up to her bag of drugs and ran them through the drip and through the needle she had put into Dana’s left hand.

“It’s really cold, is it supposed to be cold? It doesn’t feel right.”

“Dana, try to relax, the bag will warm up and you will adjust to its temperature in time.” Penny ran through the side effects and what Dana would experience over the next 6 hours. “Buzz if you need anything or want to ask anything at all, either of you.” She smiled at them. “Make yourselves comfortable.”

Dana leaned back, closed her eyes and took another deep breath. Alice just sat and watched, wishing she could do it for her, take all the pain away.  They sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Does it feel any better now baby?”

“Its burning my fucking veins Alice. Its freezing and boiling at the same fuckin time how the hell can it feel better?” Dana snapped

Alice just looked at Dana, knowing that despite how much her words had hurt her, she knew she was just angry at the world and not specifically her.

Dana broke eye contact with Alice with her eyes turning slightly red as she whispered “I’m sorry, I’m just so fucking angry and there is nothing I can do about it. I just have to sit here and think about my life wasting itself away.”