Fan Fiction
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Things I Never Told You
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These are things I never told you.
I feel like I should start apologizing, but they would be empty, and holllow, and probably won’t even begin to tell you everything.
But I’m going to try and tell you everything.
And I’m going to say I’m sorry.
For what, I’m not sure I know where to begin.
For pushing, I guess. Pushing you into something you weren’t ready for. I’ve lived without a safety net for so long I assumed the same was true for you, without realizing you had so much more to lose just by being honest. And I’m sorry I never realized that.
I’m sorry I let you go. It was easier to leave and avoid you than it was to see you everyday not knowing what was in store.
This isn’t even making sense, but I’m still writing it. Goes to show just how emotional I feel right now, right?
God. I sound like an idiot.
I’ll admit it, I felt humiliated that you would leave me like that, but the fact that you never tried to fix it, that you never even called… At least someone like Gabby comes with a built-in clause, right?
Even now, as I’m sitting here in this airport ready to again leave someone I love, I’m thinking, why am I this person. Why am I the person who keeps leaving.
I shouldn’t have left the first time, I understand that. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
Yes, it was a cowardly way out, but I figured that it was better for both of us.
Unfortunately, the opposite happened for me, and from what Alice tells me, the same is true for you. But from what she also tells me, you were genuinely happy. And I guess that justifies my actions then.
I never meant to come between you and Alice. But Gabby must have rubbed off on me — oh God the way that statement sounds — and…
Okay. That’s a copout. A part of me knew what I was doing, but somehow, I don’t know how, I’d managed to convince myself that it was all innocent and we were just being friendly. Yeah. Thinking back on it now, I don’t believe me, either. And knowing how much it broke your heart to leave Alice like that, and the pain I know our relationship caused Alice, I’m sorry for those things too.
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It’s always a pleasure to see a new post from you, tiff_duke. I love that we’re getting all these fab stories with Lara in them just now. More please, if this isn’t a one-off. Cheers
Gee, isn’t this a little harsh to Lara? It seemed to me that Dana pretty much drove her away at the end, not that Lara bailed on Dana. A soup chef does not a soup nazi make.
Nice to see a post from you, this was sad.
It’s great to have you back and I’m looking forward to a Tibette story.
Wow, I loved this. And, thank you for the sweet dedication! Your insight into Lara’s conflict as she leaves Alice and re-lives her experience of abandoning Dana is so well-balanced – exactly what I would expect her to be thinking in that moment. You perfectly captured her uncertainty and her guilt about what she is doing – if only the show would give us this insight in season four! I would be beyond thrilled – alas, I don’t think that’s going to happen. I particularly loved the back-and-forth nature of her writing as you presented it – that, along with her self-deprecatory comments throughout, really made the letter sound authentic, and also completely heartbreaking. Thank you – and hey, if you choose to expand this into a multi-chapter story, I’ll be reading!
That was lovely. I hope this wasn’t a one shot story – your awesomeness should absolutely explore the Lara character;)
Wow, that was powerful. I know that therapist sometimes ask a patient to write down their thoughts or to write a letter to someone that they have hurt or has hurt them. I do hope that you will grace us with more of your writings and of course a Tibette one.
hey tiff, as always looking forward to what you have to say. you say it in such a beautiful way. thanks.
OK…it’s been 2 months and a day since your last post. What a thrill it is to see your name. I hope you are just getting your feet wet with this and are going to jump into another story soon!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the post and looking forward to seeing your name again…really soon!
Thank you for sharing. Regardless of the point of focus, your writing is always appreciated.
I really had no idea who was writing this letter until Gabby was mentioned. It reminded me a bit of the song “Always On My Mind.” I guess sometimes people need to write things down to make their thoughts and feelings seem more real.
1st
I’m always so happy to read a post from you and enjoyed your take on Lara. Thanks!
welcome back. i like this. i must admit, i rarely read fanfic centralising on lara despite my liking for the character. maybe this will make me start :)
I was waiting for your return. Happy to see you back but several sad things have happened in my real life so this was too real. Looking forward to maybe another TiBette story?
hi tiff, good to see u’re back, quick question,……is this a Alice and Lara kinda thing??? Or is it gonna turn out to be a TiBette???? thanks!!!!
wow, i began reading only because you were the writer…i really didn’t care much for Lara on a show because i loved Danish but you made me really think what was she going through…thanks
awww…what a sweet Author’s note. And, I think you captured the complete swirl of emotions and copouts and grief really well. Though I hate the idea of Lara being written off…I have a feel this is the way it will be done. (without the benefit of getting the perspective you’ve given). Thanks for taking time away from B&T for this…you have a lovely writing style
It was so nice to see that you had posted again after so long. This was really well done. So nice to see things from another perspective. Anyone who writes a letter like this knows that in the end we are writing to ourselves and it can be really powerful.
Great to see you back. I’ve always loved your writing so thank you for this incredibly emotional letter. Will it continue into something or is it just stand alone?