I sit on the sofa for what seems like hours thinking about my life, what I have given up in my life, what I have lost in my life, what I have gained in my life…..I will never forgive myself for killing Sara that night in the accident……For all these years, I have just wanted to push it to the back of my mind, and forget it……and I did very well at that until I met Tina, and feelings started to arise for her. I swore that I would never let my feelings evolve for anyone, and I also swore to never love again……..Never allow myself to love…..I couldn’t……..what if I did the same thing to them that I did to Sara? What if I hurt them in any way? I really could never allow it…….that’s where the bed em and leave em comes in……NO relationships, just sex…….worked for me, and the women….so what was the problem? ………………..

What was the problem?……….the problem was I couldn’t do this to Tina, or myself…..I have to atleast give it a 100% try……….and with this……..I took it and ran……………

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AN HOUR LATER:

“She is back in her room Bette, do you have any idea what happened tonight? She left with Alice, and came back all upset…….” asked Tina’s dad……

“It……well it’s a long story…….” I said as I looked him in the eye……. “Is she okay?”

“I really don’t know…….used to…….when she would get upset like this, I would just leave her alone and she would come to me and talk on her own…..so, I haven’t been to her room……”

“Ok…..” I said smiling…….. “well, I am going to walk back there and try to talk to her……” .

I turned and walked down the familiar hallway…….I stopped and knocked on the door……..

“Go away….” Tina shouted……..

“T, please…….it’s me…….Bette………I think maybe we should talk…….”

“I said to go away…….” she yelled once more……. “You made yourself clear that you don’t want me……you slept with Alice…..”

“T, Please…..” I said as I lifted my hand to the door……so wanting to feel the body on the other side….just a mere hug………that’s all…………finally, after a few seconds of silence…….I reached for the knob, and turned it………I creeped the door open, and Tina was laying on her side, with the pillow covering her face…….I slowly shut the door, and walked over to the bed…….I sat down, and tried to pull the pillow off of her face so that we could talk……..she cleverly snatched it back………