Bette knocked on the hard brown wood of Kit’s door. The flight was ugly again and bette’s stomach went
and did a gymnastics routine, it wasn’t pretty. Eventually it eneded like everything did, but her life seemed to be
a never-ending ***** fest after the next, at least for the past few months. Tina was doing ok, she was starting chemo
next week and she could walk properly now, though she still went to rehab. Bette had come as soon as Kit
called her yesterday…it was about Angelica. It was always about Angelica. On the way over to New York Bette had
done a lot of thinking, a lot of intense reflection on her daughter, their situation, and what needed to be done. First
Angelica had to come home, school could wait…her daughter’s well-being could not. Bette had realized
that Angelica wanted was what all kids wanted, attention and love. Bette gave her plenty of those but not in the
right way, not in the way that mattered. What she needed from Bette that she couldnt get from Tina was a friend
who took her out for ice cream but who would knock her eyes out if she did anything stupid, verbally and contructivaly that is. Bette
all these years could never do that. She felt guilty for crissakes. And there was a very fine line these days when Angelica was in
a good mood, it could go one way and angie wold be sullen or it could go another way when angie would smile and say that Bette
was the best. But Bette now would rather angelica be sulllen and hate Bette for a couple of days than go down the
road she had begun to follow.

 Bette also realized that Angelica needed availability, Bette’s availability. For so long now
Bette had been caught up with Tina she had been thinking that Angie could look afer herself to some extent, it was a problem
of hers, because Bette was responsible every body else should be too. And the warning signs, the ***** warning signs
Bette had thought long and hard about all the times when she could have reached out to Angie who would have
been receptive, those times. The most glaring and shaming moment in Bette’s book was all those countless times
when Angie would say how stupid and creep Benson was, and Bette would tell her to stop being judgmental. Judgmental, ***** that.
Bette was lugging her bag into the trunk of her vehicle when she felt something, turning aorund she saw Mr.Benson looking at her over
the fence. And for the first time she kne exactly what Angelica was talking about. For the first time she felt naked and dirty. On the other
side of the door she heard Kit walking to open it, Bette readied herself….hoping Angie wasn’t too deep inside the shithole she
was going down.