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This is My Family…Chapter 43
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“it’s not my body mom….im not even sure about the sexual part….im just in love with her, maybe it will only be emotional….stop worrying”
“sorry, just worried about the ***** stuff, ok Angie…im glad you like someone”
“thanks”
This was not true. Angelica very much felt the physical. She felt her insides tingle and her crotch pound when Lee past her. That girl had made Angie’s body respond in
ways sh ethought impossible. And it was all new, therefore it was very exciting. Though she would probably be too chicken to even talk to Lee, Angelica at least had the knowledge
of what Lee could do. It was the way her body writhed and throbbed when she thought of those delicate wrists. But Angelica was also weirded out by these sensations, she was only
14 and even though she was unfortunetly not a virgin and knew the birds and bees…..it was kinda uncomfortable. Sometimes she would squirm in her chair and think how sick it all
was…for her body to feel this way. She wanted to ask Bette this, she wanted Bette to talk about Tina, she wanted to tell Bette her fears and the strange feelings and emotions and
sadness going through her. But she didn’t. Maybe she just didn’t want to put herself out there. Angelica knew that in the past when she made herself vulnerable bad things happened.
She wanted things to stay good with Bette. She wanted to feel safe so it wouldn’t be her fault if things fell apart, if her and Bette fell apart, if things didn’t work out in anyway. Angelica
didn’t want to be the one who brought things down with her feelings. So she hid them . It was easier that way, and even though it tore her up it was better than enduring Bette’s
questions and judgements. Angelica always felt like Bette was judging her. She should have never said anything, she would never say anything. But there was so much to say.
Bette too had so much to say…..she wanted to protect her little girl from love. That was the simple truth, and even though she had said love was the best thing that could
ever happne to a person. It didn’t feel like that at the moment. And what about what Helena told her? She didn’t know what to say. Bette decided to wait for a right time, a right
that moment that would never be “right”…cuz both persons were trying to hide from the other. They had the same fears, and even though an observer may say they had progressed
with this simple unexplosive decent conversation….they gotten nowhere.
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I agree with CROO : no doubt Bette would be shocked to be compared with Melvin’s way of react about such things – but however it’s true. And Angie has a lot of Bette’s lack of communication too. So of course it will not be easy at all for both of them to find a way to share more intimate thoughts and fears…
Always so perfectly depicted. Great work, really.
Techgal said all i want to say and sure in the better way I can do it.
Thank you for this story even it’s often painfu ot read it.
THOSE TWO REALLY NEED TO TALK TO EACHOTHER…I THINK ANGELIC NEEDS TO CALL HER AUNT’S AND HAVE THEM COMEBACK TO HELP……GREAT CHAPTER AS ALWAYS..PLEASE POST SOON…….
They have got to talk to each other bette need to talk to somebody holding it in is kill her bring tina back in some way to help her start to work thurough this a litte bit please!!!!!!!!!!
You articulate the inner thoughts that people repress and never share. I can realize the truth of your writing because I recognize those repressed feelings in myself as well. Depending on my tolerance for truth on a given day,
reading this story can be wonderfully endearing, pleasingly sentimental or achingly painful.
It’s always honest.
Thanks.
damm, bette’s is parenting just like her father did to her.
Angie sounds like a mini bette
One last thing. Reading about Bette’s repressed nature is doubly sad one, because she denies herself that pleasure and two, because she’s lost the person she should/would/could have explored it with. She has to rebuild so much, and it seems intimacy for her takes time.
She and Angelica are gonna have to wade through some heavy psychic stuff as they absorb Tina’s death.
I wasn’t with you for a while with this story – I didn’t enjoy Tina’s illness and deline and subsequent death. It was painful to read. But I understand more what you’re doing. It’s not comfortable, it’s not complacent, but it’s good. Like life.
Thanks.
Just caught up with the last two chapters – excellent. This just gets better and better. This story reflects real life – it can suck so bad sometimes. Stuff needs to happen but doesn’t. You need something so bad and you don’t get it. Nevertheless life does go on and you still need to get by somehow. They need to talk and it’s so difficult. Bette needs to take the lead but she can’t can she. There are two elephants in the room 1. Tinas death 2. Angies problems. I’m not sure how Bette is going to move forward, it seems right now that she isn’t capable of much except getting through the day in one piece.