When Bette just felt like she was drifitng she heard the door quietly close. Angie was home, she was walking to her own room…Bette heard her pause at Fleur’s door. The opening of it, Angie going in…the squeek of the bed. And Bette’s heart softened. Poor kid..Bette wished she could just get up and hug her beautiful daughter. Her Angelica. The problem was that was not possible…so Bette thought about it, she thought about her hug. One day everything would be alright. Life was getting a bit easier. she had Fleur…and Fleur had her. Bette just wished she could somehow reach Angelica, it felt like she was so far gone. But there was something in Bette, something that told her not to think all is lost…that some day her and Angie would come together in peace. That’s all she wanted really…peace.

 Bette felt herself drift….and she was gone.

 The dream felt real. Bette knew it was only a dream…but it wasn’t at the same time. Everything was green, so damn green..and the sky was as blue as a baby’s blanket. All over were baby’s blanket’s in fact. On top of a little green hill was a pile of baby’s blankets. What was the feeling that was being felt..all around this feeling…of weightless floating almost. Bette felt herself walking, walking and feeling weightless though her feet were on the ground. Her feet were feeling the grass, the greeness of the hill she was climbing, walking on. Bette saw the pile of blankets on that green hill. she was so curious, what was going on? The sky was so blue, such a light blue…it was almost in a nursery. Bette got to the top..there was nothing there…the blankets were gone. Bette looked around, looked up..then turned aorund and looke down. Wow…it was so far below, so far. she couldn’t believe she had walked so high up. she could see so far….so green, all there was was green small rolling hills and sky. Bette turned around and felt her chest jump to her throat, the pile of blankets were there. They weren’t before. And who was that by them………….Tina. Bette felt her knees go weak, there was Tina! She tried to walk, tried to walk so hard…but her feet just couldn’t gp fast enough. It was like her feet were stuck in quicksand, she tried to walk. She just wasn’t fast enough. Bette sank to her knees, she felt the sky go down with her. Tina was sitting cross-legged… sewing. she was sewing those baby blankets, and there was a pile of blankets beside her. Bette could almost touch T’s golden hair. And they sat there for ages. Tina happily sewing all these blankets and Bette trying but failing to move or speak…her voice would not work. Then suddenly the sky melted into brown paint and the sides were dripping, Bette could feel the drops on her face…she was afriad her face was coming off. Was falling off. Then there was Tina…tina! She was standing and walking…walking….walking past Bette who was on her knees. Tina with the golden hair turned around, looked past Bette then looked at her. Bette tried but just could not breathe could not move. Tina suddenly pointed past Bette, motioning…moving her mouth..yelling something Bette could not hear. Bette tried to turn but could not…Tina’s face changed…started to turn brown from the drops of paint above. Then sound came back. Bette could hear Tina’s voice….pleading angry sad loving……”go go go go go go go”

 Bette woke up in a sweat, she felt her face…no paint. She put her head back down on the pillow. So….what the ***** did that dream mean?

 Angelica was late because of *****. It was ***** that compelled her to touch the man on the bench. She touched him once on the forearm. She was in love with men’s forearms. Their muscle..the hair on them..the darkness. That night nothing mattered except his body….it was like she escaped from whatever was happening in her life to just enjoying a body. But Fleur came back to haunt her in the dark, lying there with that arm around her waist. It started to bug her and she shoved it off her…what was she doing here? she should be home… she should be taking Fleur out. ***** she should be tucking her in bed…feeding her dinner. Angelica sat on the edge of the bed. someday…Angelica would have to try really hard to make up for her mistakes.

 That night Angelica dreamed about paint…brown paint. That was all Angie could remember when she woke up.