Chapter Two

Saturday was a busy day. Shane and Dana had come by and picked up Tina and Alice early that morning to go apartment hunting for Tina. Every place turned out to be a disappointment. One place was so bad; Dana wouldnt get out of the car. When it was time for lunch, everyone seemed relieved that the search was over for the day and they could relax at the Planet.

Really Tina, why dont you just stay with me? Alice said munching on her sandwich. I could use the help with the rent, plus after looking at those caves we were in, youd be trading me for the rats.

Yeah, I know what you mean. But hey, it was my first day of looking and maybe something else is out there for me, Tina responded.

I can take a look in my building Tina, Dana offered to help. There may be a few places for rent in there.

Yeah, Tina scoffed with a smile. Can I get a Subaru contract too to afford that place?

Dana shrugged her shoulders nodding her head, Yeah, true

Hey guys? Tina looked up from her lunch addressing her group of friends. I need another favor. I am meeting Bette at Milk tonight, you know, just to talk. If you are not busy, maybe you can show up around 9:30 or so, you know, in case I need any

No problem Tina, Shane responded. I was planning on being there anyway. Just give me the signal and I will rescue you.

What do you think Dana? Want to meet your fans tonight? Alice teased Dana.

Yeah, well be there Tina, Dana responded.

Hey, I hear my Subaru ad is poster size on the wall there. Maybe that could help me outyou know

Yeah, maybe you can sign some in private. Alice chided Dana

The group laughed at Dana and Alices banter. Lunch was going well and the group was in tact, enjoying their time together.

Getting ready for Saturday night, Tina was unsure of this being the right thing to do. She couldnt decide on what to wear and even began getting mad at herself for allowing it to matter. She settled on a very casual look, jeans, a white tank and leather jacket. No need to dress up for Bette, but she was interested in looking good. Her hair was left wavy and she she spent a few extra minutes at the makeup mirror. She is going to look hot, for herself. This time it is all for me she thought.

Sitting in her car outside of Milk, Tina wondered if this was the right thing to do. She glanced at her watch and noticed she was already ten minutes late. She really didnt care. A part of her wanted to drive away, but she went into the club anyway.

Walking into Milk, Tina looked over the crowd. Definitely not crowded, but not deserted either. Tina knew in a few hours, this place would be hopping.

Tina saw Bette immediately sitting at a table near the bar. Bette had not seen Tina yet, and Tina took the opportunity to look at Bette. Tina felt her heart ache; knowing how much she still loved her. God, she is so beautiful . Tina sighed, thinking how much she still loved Bette. ***** is this feeling ever going to go away; she wondered when she saw Bette notice her.

Tina walked up to Bettes table, a halfhearted smile on her face.

Hey

Bette stood, pulling out a chair for Tina, Hi. I glad you came. I was getting worried. Bette let out a small sigh, Tina, you look great. Thanks for coming

Tina sat across from Bette looking at her. She was nowhere near being comfortable in Bettes presence and immediately wanted a drink.

I need a drink, Tina blurted out.

What do you want? Ill get it, Bette started to stand up.

No, thanks Bette. I will get it myself. Tina looked at the table and noticed Bette had already gotten herself a drink. Did you want anything else?

No Thanks

Ill be right back

Bette watched Tina as she walked up to the bar. Tina looked so ***** in those jeans and white tank. She also noticed the other women noticing Tina. That bothered Bette. She had always been possessive of Tina, holding on to her in places like this, sending out the message of taken. Not being able to touch Tina was driving her insane.

Bettes thoughts trailed off as Tina came back with her drink and sat back down.

Looking at each other, an awkward silence fell over them. Bette decided there was no right way to begin, so she just started talking.

Leaning forward, Bette placed her arms on the table and leaned in to be closer to Tina.

TI am not sure where to begin or how to even tell you everything I need too. I am so sorry for everything. I cant even find the words to make you understand how sorry I really am. Bette reached across the table and held Tinas hand lightly in hers.

I love you so much and that will not change. I have made a huge mistake, but I need you too, noIm asking you to let me explain what was going on with me. What I was going through and I hope that can help you to understand why things happened the way they did. I want to start trying to heal with you. Start trying to put our life back together. TI cant even begin to imagine or picture a future without you in it. I cantbaby please.

Tina heard Bettes words and saw the pain in her face. Bette was pleading. It had been a long time since Tina had seen this in Bette. Tina felt the tears in her eyes begin to well up and tried desperately to stop them.

Im hurt Bettebadly. Tinas voice broke with a sob Im broken. Do you or can you understand that? a single tear ran slowly down Tinas cheek.

Bette took a deep breath, trying to stop her own tears, God, TI would do anything to take your pain away. This is all my fault. I love you so much. Bette held on to Tinas hand, tightening her grasp. She wanted to hold Tina, draw her closer to her and try and stop the pain.

Bette scooted her chair around the table, moving closer to Tina.

Bette, I am not sure what can heal us. I am just trying to heal myself now. Us is not in my plans right now. I lost so much of me, of who I am in the past year. I need to come back together. Me. Tina Kennard. Not Bette and Tina. Not Bette Porter and guest, just me, Tina Kennard.

Bette sighed, I understand that. The Tina Kennard I fell in love with, that I am still in love with. I understand you.

Bette moved her free hand up to Tinas face and gently began to caress Tinas cheek. Tina didnt move and allowed Bettes touch, briefly closing her eyes and letting the comfort wash over her. The emotion at the table was palpable. They sat in their silence, drawing strength from each others presence for a while, not feeling the need to speak.

Their connection was short lived, as a woman approached their table and stood before them looking visibly upset..

Well, there you are. How nice. Dont tell me you two are still together?

Tina recognized the face but could not attach a name.

Excuse me? Bette responded.

Yolanda looked at Tina with a look of disgust on her face. Cripes, you will put up with anything.

***** off, Bette snapped.

Bette? Did you know Candace and I were trying to work things out when you were ***** her? I was home in bed pregnant and you were ***** my wife. Are you aware of that? Yolandas face was filled with anger and clear disgust.

Nausea washed over Tina. She couldnt believe this was happening and wanted to get away from it. This was all too much for her and she felt dirty in its presence.

Could you ***** leave us alone please? Bette snarled, pissed off as the progress she had made with Tina was disappearing before her eyes.

Dont bother leaving Yolanda, I am, Tina jumped out of her chair and began walking briskly towards the door.

Tina wait, Bette quickly followed, trying desperately to catch up.

Bette continued to follow Tina outside, unable to get Tina to stop.

Tina please Bette pleaded.

Whirling around Tina looked at Bette with steely eyes, Jesus Christ Bette. A pregnant wife at home? You know, sometimes I thought it was losing the baby that drove you from me. Maybe it was my fault that made you ***** someone else. Seek comfort elsewhere. But I see now it didnt matter if I was pregnant or not. Just like that ***** you fucked, you would have done it anyway. I think Im going to vomit.

Tina no. Dont say that. No, Bette shook her head from side to side, her hand covering her mouth, fearful of the look in Tinas eyes. Please no Tina. No.

Bette pleaded with Tina to stop and listen to her, but Tina was already in her car. Slamming her car door, Tina refused to look at Bette and she started her car and left.