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    Tina in a thousand cities

     

    Ch.1:

    "… it would be always Carol, Carol in a thousand cities…"

     

    God, why am I feeling so deeply moved each time I read this book ?

    Because I owe to The Price of Salt my writer’s vocation ? No – it was a calling I heared deep inside of me from as far as my memories can go back.

    Because my own coming-out process began following the passionate journey of Claire Morgan’s heroines ? Well, it was certainly a main event but…

    No. I must admit that the reason why this novel has such an allmighty emotional power on me is simply because I recognized and still recognize myself too well through the fragile young set-designer’s character: falling head over heels in love with a stunningly beautiful blonde, to the point where nothing else but her really counts. Wondering if the divorced-and-mother-of-one woman of my dreams will ever let me love her as my soul and heart and body never stop to sigh for…

     

    Oh, silly me, stop torturing yourself now and close this useless window on this goddam fantasized world of yours ! If this novel ended on a so welcomed happy ending (the very first happy lesbian novel ever, by the way, during the so closeted fifties), bringing the two lovers together again forever, this dream of mine will never become true…

    Like the wonderful author of this unforgettable novel, Claire Morgan – aka the so complexe but fascinating Patricia Highsmith – , all I can do is to walk "on the street where she lives" (as this beautiful My Fair Lady’s song said), where the real model of Carol’s character lived – night after night…

     

    My own Carol is far to be an available divorced woman: she’s happily married and a proud mother of two adorable little girls.

    And absolutely straight – of course.

    Only children believe that life can be as easy and sunny as fairy tales…

    In life, in my lonely life at least, there will never be any ending where the two princesses charming will live happy forever.

    Well, some people are destined to only live fairy tales à la Andersen, where love isn’t compulsorily shared – like this so cruel Little Mermaid tale (and I don’t speak here about Disney’s twisted happy version but the "she loves him, he likes her" original story) that let me totally inconsolable when I was a little child…

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    Comments

    1. Poor Bette,she has not lost yet. Just keep busy finish your book,Just give Mrs.Parker your brightest smiles,and a cheerie good-morning and she will see the beautiful you. within and the out side. thanks

    2. Your mention of ‘Carol’ immediately brought back some very deep emotions and memories of when I read that book. It was a one of those that stays with you for a long time, in fact I may have to go and pick off the book shelf this evening. I love the quiet intensity to your story and I am very much looking forward to reading more. Thank you also for your very kind words. The comments you leave never fail to touch me with your very eloquent and moving words. Thank you my dear friend.

    3. Un seul chapitre et je suis déjà imprégnée par cette histoire, n’attendant qu’une chose: la suite qui j’en suis sûre sera tout aussi excellente!Je me fais plaisir en laissant un commentaire en français c’est la première fois :D!Thérèse ne t’arrête pas en si bon chemin ce premier chapitre est génial!Merci de partager cette histoire avec nous!

    4. Therese, I wish I could express my thoughts to you in French as well as you do in English! Welcome! I remember how incredibly nerve-wracking it was to post my very first chapter, so congratulations for taking that giant leap. I know the support I received from so many on this site made all the difference. Your English is perfect, and you did a wonderful job of expressing Bette’s acute pain, and her resignation of the situation. Let’s hope she doesn’t totally give up though! Thank you for including my story in your author’s notes. That story meant so much to me, so it is thrilling to know there is a woman out there in the world who thinks it is a masterpiece. Thank you!

    5. Dear sweet Therese: We are happy that you decided to share this story with us. We have seen your comments posted on many authors of the FF stories of this wonderful site. You have been always generous, thoughtful, tender and a romantic lady. The language barrier might be, sometimes difficult. But when you speak the language of the heart, then all of us can understand. You are an incredible talented woman and we hope you may continue with this tale, which we believe you need to unveil. PPS Receive big hugs and kisses on both your cheeks. – Lucero & Marsha (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick)

    6. It’s always a pleasure to take the first few steps on a new journey with a writer, and you certainly made those intriguing, interesting and passionate. I admire your courage and salute your strength in deciding to share pieces of your personal experience with us. I do hope that your Bette has some of that Porter charm in her and that she will find the same courage and strenght to seduce Tina. Au plaisir de lire la suite tres bientot.

    7. Oh Therese, you can’t imagine the smile that graced my face when I opened my mail to find such a personal and intimate profession of your recent experience. Know that you will be receiving just as personal a reply soon after this comment posts. Through the beauty of your comments which you left for my stories, I sensed an incredibly passionate writer within. Was I right? You bet I was. This is a deep, moving, and extremely personal piece of writing that I know is close to your heart. Follow your creative mind, and let the fingers move freely Therese. A huge applause to your courage and strength, as well as your talent for writing. I’m SO proud of you! xo

    8. I absolutely love it. I love many stories but am too lazy to comment on them, now I feel I have to. It really is amazing! And about the language thing: I live in Belgium (Flanders to be exact) myself and I also write in English, it’s not necessarily a problem and as I read, certainly not to you.

    9. Bonjour!! WOW…I have to say..thatw as so amazing. The emotion you evoke of Bette’s longing and love stirred up so many things deep inside of me. Well done for taking that step and writing your first fic…its exilirating isn’t it…and you deserve every comment that has been left for you. Merci Therese_Belivet (I do know more french..just have no idea how to spell..but will work on it;)

    10. Hey Therese, I also am so glad you decided to post such a beautifu first chapter, and I can’t wait to read more! Well done for overcoming your fears and posting, From the lovely way you have wrote this chapter, I can tell this is going to be an amazing story! PPVS xx

    11. this is very beautiful piece and knowing that it’s coming from personal experience makes it even more appealing…and as a foreigner myself, i can tell you that you have nothing to worry about with your english

    12. Thank you for sharing your personal journey with us and I applaud you for posting your first fan fic. Your English writing is beautiful and the passion that you carry in your heart, can be felt with each word that you write. I look forward to your next post.

    13. That was very beautiful and am looking forward to the rest.I hope its not all sad I hate sad endings but I know in real life it happens.That first line hit me after reading the chapter.PPS.

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