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Tipping Point – Chapter 3
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The question made Bette’s heart ache, she wanted to gather Tina up in her arms and never let her go. “T, I don’t know how not to love you,” She responded, “Me loving you isn’t conditional. Maybe you don’t see how incredible you are but I do.”
“I hid watching as others were slaughtered and did nothing, I let it happen right in front of me.”
“You kept yourself alive.” Bette countered as she turned to sit on the edge of the bed, needing to be closer to Tina.
“I watched a man be executed while he begged for his life. I’d known Tom longer than I’ve known you.”
“Baby, you couldn’t save him.”
“I could have tried.” Tina voice was forlorn.
“You’d be dead, Tina, there was no way you could have helped him or anyone else, it would have been in vain.” Bette reached out and placed her hand on Tina’s arm, trying to offer some comfort as her wife opened up for the first time about what had happened.
“At least I’d have tried.” Tina replied, “I can’t tell you how sick it makes me feel.”
“They were animals, Tina. Trained animals with guns who intended to kill as many people as they could. There was never going to be any mercy, they wouldn’t have hesitated to kill you too.”
“I had a choice, I chose to do nothing.” Tina showed herself no compassion.
“And I thank god every day for the choice you made.”
“I close my eyes at night and I’m right there, watching as they put the gun to Tom’s head.”
“T, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.” Bette tried to keep her voice calm as Tina revealed more details.
“It’s not just Tom, there’s all the others too. I try to think of what I could have done to stop it.”
“You were shot in your shoulder and had two broken ribs” The extent of Tina’s physical injuries was all Bette had ever really known, Tina had never wanted to discuss her ordeal.
“Yeah”
“All you could do was protect your own life.”
“Don’t you see? I saved my life to come home and tear it all apart.” Tina said as she wiped a tear from her cheek.
“T, I’m right here, all you have to do is let me in.” Bette’s heart raced as she voiced the request. The edge that had hardened Tina since her return was gone, the blonde seemed calm and Bette hoped she was impressionable. “If you can find a way to trust me, I’ll take care of the rest.”
“How?” Tina asked before wiping away more tears with both her hands.
“Let me worry about that. You’re frightened and exhausted, T. Let me protect you.”
“You can’t protect me from what’s in my head.”
“If you let me, I can be there to calm you when it happens.” Bette countered, “T, we’ve tried this your way. You’ve been in the spare room since the day we got home but that doesn’t mean I don’t hear you when you’re having nightmares.”
“I didn’t want to keep disturbing you.”
“Baby, I know you’ve got so much going on but please stop pushing me away. Just because you can’t feel anything doesn’t mean it’s not there. You’ll find it again, Tina, you just need to give yourself some time.”
“The harder I try the more elusive it becomes.”
“So stop trying and just let yourself be broken for a while.” Bette pleaded.
“I’ve got nothing to give.” Tina said quietly as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Will you lay with me?” Bette asked, “Just let me hold you, please?”
It only took a moment before Tina got up from the chair and Bette made room for them to lay down. Tina crawled into their bed and lay facing away from her wife. Bette put her arm around the other woman’s waist and the comfort she found in this simple action nearly bought her to tears. She placed a gentle kiss on the back of Tina’s head.
“I’ve got you, T. You’re safe in my arms, I promise.”
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I can’t believe I’ve missed this…what’s up with the old time authors??? You’re all coming back to the site to write some incredible stuff, thank you!!! I’m going to be checking everyday.
I’m loving the exploration away from the canon. Yes, it’s intense but I love the creative storyline. Yay! Thanks!
I love this story. Even if it’s dark. It’s real. And it resonates with folks like me who have had some experience with the dark episodes of life. Please, keep on writing. I’ve always loved you stories. I keep reading them over and over. The human spirit is quite resilient. I should know. You can go through the worst imaginable things and still be whole. At some point you have to hit rock bottom. And then, it becomes a matter of personal choice. You can choose to survive. Love is always the best antidote. I thank God everyday that I have that in abundance. Love truely heals you, in time. LOL. Long post. Sorry about that. I just love this chappie.
Wow! What an incredible story so far. Very well written. Thanks for posting.
Great story. I don’t think of it as so dark per se, just very realistic. Among the things going on with Tina having lived thru this experience is post-traumatic stress disorder, of course guilt that she lived while others perished. She has quite a lot to get over and it will take some time for her to have some semblance of even a tiny bit of normalcy. Hopefully she will let Bette try to make a bit of difference and show her all the love she has for Tina. Thanks for posting.
Tina sounds like she has survivors guilt. I am not sure anything will ever take away the fear, pain and guilt of living and not dying that day for Tina.
I am hooked. I hope the rest is not as dark.
wow. You’re right. This is harsh stuff.. I wonder what exactly went on and why Tina was there even though she was already married to Bette? Why wasn’t Bette with her? Scary.. dark and confusing. Sounds like stuff that could give me nightmares too but hey.. I’m in it for the long haul. Thanks for writing HackGirl and I hope you post soon! :D on a completely random note.. YAY I’m FIRST!! :D
I found your story. I love it very much, its very different from the other stories I have read. I’m hooked. Please come back soon. Bette and Tina’s love is never-ending. Bette’s strength will bring Tina back. Poor, Angie. She wants her mama T back.
It’s as if some gunman infiltrated the place where Tina worked and killed coworkers and Tina escaped. And she feels guilty that she escaped???? Awesome writing.
You’re one of the authors that has me reading regardless of the topic. Great writing with a tough subject. Thanks, HG.
very dark stuff but even in that you made me feel hope for B&T…as long as Bette won’t give up and Tina let her help, it’s should be okay, right?
This is just so sad for Tina. Hope it gets better soon. thank you.
I’m so glad you’re back!
Got me hooked. I want to know what happened. Great job!
This is so incredibly well written that the fact that it is dark is just part of the story. Does that make sense? I guess I just see the heart-wrenching, painful, sadness…but loving part of this story, and what a wonderful job you are doing writing it. Thank you.
Another exceptional post that always leaves me wanting more. I only hope many chapters will follow to illustrate how this came to be and what’s next. Thank you HackGirl for returning.
oh this may be dark but with you writing it … it will be great. thx