“Bette, it may feel that way, because we’re coming up there with a stigma. The bond, the affinity that I share with these people is more than just a death, we were at one point more than a marriage. If Rick hadn’t have died…” Tina stopped. She had to, continuing with that sentence, that way may inflict pain that you can’t take back.

“I know that Tina, I live with it every day. Most days it’s disturbing to know that I have this wonderful little family in my life because of something that still causes you pain to this day.” Tina looked away from Bette. She was voicing what had her in therapy to this day. All of the ‘what-if’s’ closed her away from Bette and made her turn inward when she really needed to turn to her partner and voice her real concerns. But, Bette sat there, freely speaking what truths they were both ducking and dodging for the entire course of their relationship thus far. ‘What if Rick hadn’t have died?’

“But I can’t change time and neither can you. But we are both right here Tina. We are here in this life together and I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon. If you’re willing I’m going to stay as long you want me to.” Tina’s head suddenly snapped back towards Bette.

“Was that some sort of a proposal?” her left brow slowly arched as she let Bette’s chosen words wash over her again and again.

Bette’s eyes darted back and forth across the room, she had just shocked herself. “I’m not sure?” Bette was so free in speaking how she felt nowadays, it all just tumbled out of her.

“We were just about to have an argument?!”

“I know.” Bette said not believing it all herself. Everything in that moment seemed to be still, life stopped in that second and Tina’s panic in that silence tickled Bette as she watched it overtake Tina’s face. Bette was not hearing her own thoughts out shout her need to be impulsive and speak without a filter.

“What the hell…?” Tina sat looking at Bette closely to make sure she was alright after such a bold and impetuous statement.