‘Oh God these women’ Tina thought as she put down the glass with the rest of the wine and headed to take a long and hot shower.

………………………..

“You cannot spend your life planning every detail meticulously until you feel it’s ready for you.”

“I don’t. And the things that I do control are on my terms. But this… I don’t know how to control this or these feelings.”

“Why would you want to?”

“Because otherwise it’s just chaos. Uncontrollable chaos with no way of reining it in.” Bette said shaking her head at mere thought of a chaotic and strained situation with Tina. It was something she never wanted to either of them in.

“Your whole life is chaos. Look at your chosen profession. At a moment’s notice you can be thrown into a world of chaotic noises and strained bodies depending on you for help and relief.”

Bette scoffed at the explanation and quickly compiled an argument to refute, “That is in no way the same. The women that I help are in planned and controlled chaos. Everything is already set in motion one way or the other by the women themselves. My job, my focus is to go in with plan A if that doesn’t work then there’s a series of plans that follow. I am, in reality only a facilitator for the event already taking place.”

She shook her head the entire time listening to Bette, her general ‘aloofness’ was in a way attractive and crippling to her. “Your humility is astounding at times.” Kelly said taking her tea cup in hand and enjoying a slow sip of the warm chamomile. “It also impedes the reality that is right in front of you.”

“I’m almost sure that was a back-handed compliment.” Bette said cocking her brow with a soft smirk.

“Mmm, in a way you could take it like that.” Kelly said taking down her tea with a smile at Bette’s face. “But it’s a fact. You try to wrangle all of these things into controlled boxes, and dictate when and if you’ll need them.” Kelly wasn’t just referring to herself; she’d been privy to a lot more of Bette’s personal life as a person she’d shown general interest in and then shied away from the moment she felt unable to control the outcome. “Don’t get me wrong I love that you don’t see yourself in a light that is notorious for grand-standing. It’s honestly one of the sexiest things about you. But to a fault it allows you to see things in the world in a warped tunnel vision.”

“Kelly–”

“No let me tell you this and then you can tell me if it’s truth or not?” Kelly said taking Bette’s hand in hers stopping her from interrupting her thought.  Bette nodded her head giving Kelly the opportunity to finish voicing her thoughts.  “You said that your job is more as a facilitator than anything else. But you don’t see or rather choose not to see the impact that you have on patients. You’ve taken yourself out and away from the role they perceive you to play in their lives. And this one time, I’m going to guess the only time that you’ve allowed yourself to let something; anything other than your brain and training to dictate your actions you over analyze it.”

Bette looked down at their hands still together in an intimate embrace. Kelly touched a nerve that Bette had hoped no one could reach but it was there exposed for her to see. It seemed as though lately she’d become more open and exposed to the women around her. Somehow her body, mind, and soul were not just her own to carry through this life anymore. It was open for friendship, love and interpretations from every angle but all done with a certain kind of finesse that she was certain didn’t exist until as of late.

“It is so imperative for you to allow something else other than your mind, and these tight thoughts to move you through this world. Tina moves you.” Kelly said and saw how  Bette looked at her almost shocked that she could read her so freely without giving Kelly the full back-story to their relationship and how she came to be this bundle of emotion here on her couch. “She moves you and makes you want to be more than what you think you are capable of, and that’s beautiful. That’s love.”

TBC………………………..