"Shane!"

"God…you scared me to death."

"Get into the bed the doctor told me that you need to rest. You can’t walk around like this after what happened."

"But I was just walking a bit. It’s so boring here."

"I know but you’re going to be out tomorrow, alright? You really need to take your injury more seriously. Otherwise it’ll take more time to heal and you will have to wait longer until you are completely healthy."

"Alright. You convinced me."

"I’m sorry that it took me so long. I decided to cook something for you since the food here…well lets say it’s not too good."

"Thanks, Carm."

"When did Alice leave?"

"She stood for about an hour. Bette, Jodie, Max and Jenny came later. Helena and Tina gave me a call."

"And you still find the time to walk around?"

"You don’t know how long the days in that hospital are. An our seems like an eternity."

I stood with her until it was allowed. I told her that I would be back tomorrow after they had run some tests to make sure that she can really leave the hospital.
When I looked for the keys of the car I found a letter in my purse. There was my name written on the envelope so I opened and read it.

"Dear Carmen,

You know when we were together I always told you that I loved you. I never felt what I’m feeling for you for somebody else. Our relationship was something completely new for me. I have never been in a commited relationship before. I always thought that I could never be in such a relationship. But you teached me how to love. You changed me. Of course I was fucked up enough to hurt you anyway. I cheated on you although my feelings for you were still the same. I loved you since the day I laid eyes on you. I am sorry that I hurt you.

Then I asked you to marry me although I wasn’t ready. Dana’s death made me realize how short life can be. I didn’t want to loose you, too. My sadness blinded me but in Oregon I got to know my father. I always knew that he was a player like me. When I saw him with his family I felt assured. But then my father cheated on his wife. He didn’t even know the name of that chick. I thought that my dad and I are the same. I didn’t want you to get hurt. I didn’t want to destroy your belief in marriage. That’s why I decided to leave you.

I got into another relationship but it felt wrong. I knew that I still loved you but I didn’t want to admit it. Then the accident happened and you were the one who was on my side when I woke up. You were the one who cared for me. You were the one who drove me all the way up to Oregon. It made me realize that you are the perfect person for me. I think I always knew but never wanted to admit it. I am in love with you…

I want to have a relationship with you. I just don’t want to make the same mistakes again. I have to talk about my feelings. I wanted you to know how I really feel before we made another step. Of course I wanted you last night. It’s just that I knew that you were drunk. I didn’t want to take advantage of it and what’s even more important…I didn’t want you to regret anything when you would have woken up next to me the next morning…I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings…

I know I made too many mistakes…but I still hope that you can forgive me one day…

 Love,

Shane "