She looked at me and smiled faintly.

“You know since we are both not able to sleep, we should keep each other company.”

“You’re right.”

Bette climbed over the fence and we sat down on the steps of the porch.

“Okay, spill it, Porter.”

“Well…I think that I’m in the shithouse.”

“Why? What happened?”

“I…I love Jodie…I mean…at least I thought I did. But now I’m not sure…I keep thinking about Tina. I thought that I was over her, but lately we came along so well. She even gave me advices when Jodie was mad at me. But at the same time I love Jodie so much. She’s strong, she’s smart, sexy…”

“What are you dreaming about?”

“What?”

“Seriously. What do you want to achieve in your life later on?”

“Well…I always dreamed about a career in the art business. And I also dreamed about having a family…I want Angelica to get a little sister or a little brother…and I…I always imagined how I’d wake up in the morning with my wife next to me. And then the kids would join us and jump on our bed to get us out of it…”

“And who do you see when you look at your wife?”

“Tina…”

I didn’t say anything. I knew Bette needed a moment to digest this new awarness.

“But what if…what if she doesn’t want me back?”

“Well then you should fight for her. You shouldn’t stay with Jodie just because you think that Tina doesn’t want you back. You know she doesn’t deserve that.”

“Yeah…You’re right…Thank you, Shane.”

She smiled lightly and gave me a hug.

“So… I hear about you and Carmen.”

“What? Who told…oooh….Alice….”

“Right…If you didn’t want anybody to know it, she’s the last person you should tell. I thought you knew her.”

“Yeah…But that’s a long story. Whatever, now you know it.”

“So how is it going?”

“Alright I guess…”

“You guess?”

“She’s really awesome. She supports me in every way. But I don’t know…I love her so much…I’m just afraid that she’s expecting too much of me, you know. I don’t want her to think that I’m an angel now. I’m still the old fucked up Shane. But this time I will try harder not to hurt her in any way. I just hope that this doesn’t mean that she thinks that I’m going to marry her soon or something like that. I’m just not ready for that step.”