Tina and Nya

A couple days before Tina calls Bette
Tina I cant do this anymore?

Nya, I thought we were having a good time?

Nya turned her back and wiped the stray tear; she didnt want Tina to see her cry.

Nya, Im sorry if Ive upset you. You know I would never intentionally do that, Tina explained. I know you havent been happy with me, but Ive just been going through something and Im over it now.

Listen to you, Nya turned around, you dont even sound like the Tina I first met. Tina gave Nya a confused look. Dont look at me like that. You know what I mean Tina. You used to be so open, so disciplined, and so, so, real, Nya tried to find the right words.

And youre saying Im not that way anymore? The pain in Tinas voice pierced Nyas heart, but she fought to stand her ground.

No, youve become hardened as if youre trying to protect yourself from me; from everyone. I told you, I wouldnt hurt you Tina. I said I would be there for you as long as you were honest, but youre not even honest with yourself anymore.

What does that mean?

Tina, you have been drunk every time we went out; you drink as if you’re trying to dull the pain. Then you teased, and you flirted, but were never ready to be with me. Was it all just a game?

Tinas cheeks reddened and the tears stung in her eyes. She struggled to comprehend what Nya was saying, but she was still trying to rid herself of the after effects of her drinking for it to fully register. Everything Nya said was true, but until Tina could see if for herself, nothing Nya said would make any sense. Nya had to do the one thing she hoped she would never do.

Tina, I think we need to stop seeing each other for a while, Nya retreated to the couch and sat down.

We need to what?

We need to stop seeing each other for a while. I still have strong feelings for you and thats not going to change overnight, but youre still in a precarious place emotionally and until you can settle your feelings, I cant see you.

But I thought we had a good thing going? Tina spoke in spite of the tears that escaped.

We did and Ill miss our friendship, but I want more and youre not ready for that yet. Actually, I dont think I am either. I think I settled for your friendship because having that was better than nothing, but after sharing such close space with you, I realized how hard it is for me, Nyas tears fell like torrential rain. Tina sat beside Nya and wrapped her arm around her waist. The warmth and compassion was still evident between them, but Nya refused to let down her guard and remained rigid. Please dont do that Tina, I cant take it. Im sorry, but I just need you to leave.

Tina removed her arm and sat silently next to Nya hoping that what shed heard was just a joke, but each time she looked at Nya, who wouldnt look back at her, she realized that it was all true and she needed to get her things and leave. Tina placed a gentle kiss on Nyas cheek and left.

Nya spent most of her days busy with work and avoiding seeing, thinking, or speaking with Tina. Things between them had gone in a direction neither of them had bargained for and Nya was feeling more and more conflicted because in spite of the tension, she still had feelings for Tina. Tina calmed her partying and drinking down at Nyas request, but was now using that time to bury herself in work, when she wasnt apologizing to Nya for treating her unfairly. Tinas impromptu call to Bette was an attempt to figure out exactly where they stood and what their next course of action would be.

Tina & Bette
So, whats going on Bette? You said we need to talk? Tina immediately dove into the conversation.

Actually, Id like to know what you called for? Bette quickly shot back.

Uhm, II, Tina was now uncertain of her motives.

Come on Tina, what was it? Bettes curt tone rang in Tinas ear.

Is something wrong? You seem very edgy right now? Is New York not going well? Tina tried to pacify.

No, New York is fine. So, whats up?

Tina walked to her office window and stared out. She now regretted calling Bette, but there was no back peddling now; she had to say what was on her mind.

I wanted to know where things stood with us Bette? Where do you see us now?

Bette sat up on the bed and twirled the phone cord in her fingers. As much as she wanted to just blurt out the words that had been swirling in her head since the call, compassion rose in Bettes hard and she thought of how she could delicately answer Tinas question.

Tina, thats a hard question to answer from 3,000 miles away, Bette tried to break the ice. I mean, what I mean is, dont you think we should do this face to face?

Tina was taken aback. She could hear the tension in Bettes tone and it was beginning to upset her.

Bette did I do something wrong? Tinas voiced cracked.

No, no you didnt, Bette sounded almost apologetic.

Then whats wrong? You called me back and said we needed to talk and now you seem distant. Can you please talk to me Bette?

Bette took a deep breath and ran her hand through her hair. Raynes voice was playing overtime in her head and memories of their night were as vivid as if they were watching them on TV. Bette finally made a decision and now she had to speak on it, the words chocked her as tight as a hangers noose.

Tina, listen, I really hate to do this, but I have to. I think we

You think we should end? Tina interrupted, knowing all too well the tone of Bettes voice.

Yes. Yes, thats what Im saying Tina. Im sorry. Im really sorry, Bette whispered and waited for the fall out.

Silence! Tina collapsed into a heap under the window as if shed had the wind knocked out of her. She clutched the phone to her chest and wept.

Tina? Tina? Are you still there? Bette called into the phone. Tina, please talk to me, Bette pleaded.

Tina heard Bettes voice and struggled to respond, but no words would come and out all she could do was hang up the phone.

Bette quickly redialed Tinas number, but the call went directly to voice mail, so she tried Tinas cell, but that too went directly to voice mail. Bette felt helpless, responsible, and guilty all at the same time. Not willing to give up without at least some effort of a fight of peacemaking, Bette dialed the main number to CM&E and waited to be connected to Tinas office, citing it was a business deal that she needed to speak with Tina immediately one. Sparta was none the wiser and called through to Tinas office.

Tina, theres a Rachel Davenport on the phone, Spartas cheery voice rang through the intercom.

Tina was forced to gather herself and respond.

Im sorry; I dont know a Rachel Davenport. Did she say who shes with? Tina willed herself to sound unaffected.

Yes, she says she from the Gavin Agency and she was told to speak with you regarding a retail plaza, Sparta explained.

She doesnt sound familiar, but put her through, Tina replied and cleared her throat in preparation to speak.

Tina Kennard, how may I help you?

Ms. Kennard, I was wondering if I may have a moment of your time to discuss something with you? Bette put on.

Yes. Please go ahead.

Tina, its really me, Bette. Please dont hang up; I really need to talk to you. Please, Bette begged.

Tina sighed and shook her head. She wasnt ready or prepared for more pain, but Bette had her on the line and it was probably better to get it over with now than later.

Okay. Fine. Go ahead.

Tina, Im not trying to hurt you or cause either of us anymore pain, but maybe we really do need to end things for good. Or at least until we know for sure what happened between us can never happen again.

Tina snapped the pencil she was playing with. She fucked someone again. I know she did. Tina thought. ‘But why ask about it? She’s only gonna lie anyway and I can’t take that.’ Tina’s mind continued to wander.

Tina?

Yea, Im here.

Can you say something? Anything?

The dense silence dulled Bettes senses and made her stomach twist. Memories of the night of Provocations infiltrated her mind as did the ensuing memories revolving around her, Candace, and Tina. Bette could feel the nausea rise into her throat and it seemed like only moments before she lost it where she stood. Bette summoned the strength of Samson to stop her from losing her breakfast and not to let the tears fall like a volcanic eruption. She had to stand strong; she had to.

Tina, I know this is hard and I know its not where either of us thought we were headed, but we need to do this. Its for the best and if we are to be friends or ever get back to the love we had, we have to let go for good; at least for a while.

Okay, Tina paused, okay, if thats what you want, Tina went on. I accept this decision and hope that youre right Bette.

Are you sure you dont have anything else to say about this? Bette was stunned by Tinas passivity.

What else am I supposed to say Bette? You want us over for good, I cant challenge that and youre mind is apparently made up, Tina said firmly.

Alright, Bette said softly. Again, Im sorry, it came down to this, but maybe its just for the best and maybe with time well

Just let it go Bette, Tina snapped. Just let it go. I cant do this anymore. Im emotionally bankrupt right now and I think we should end this conversation. Thanks for your hone, Tina caught herself, still thinking that her gut feeling was right. Thanks for not leading me on, she corrected herself. Have a good one.

Tina hung up and stared helplessly at the phone. Anger, fear, pain, and disappointment were just a few of the things she felt. Tina knew she was in no condition to work at that moment and called Sparta to let her know she had to leave for a little while, but would return in the afternoon. Tina left the building and drove to the marina and walked from one end of the pier to the other in an effort to calm down and not allow herself to emotionally destruct. When she grew weary of walking, Tina sat on a large rock and looked out into the ocean wishing she could get swept away with the current. Being swept away into distant and unfamiliar shores, if she didnt drown before she got there would feel a lot better than how she felt after being dumped by two women in as many days.