“What do you want to know?” Not like I’m going to tell her anything important.

“Ok…. what do I want to know… what to know…” She started. I’m just gonna sit back and enjoy this food, while she figured this out on her own.

“How many questions do I get?”

“This isn’t a quiz show Al, just ask and I may answer them all.”

“Alright.” She gets this twinkle in her eye. Which for as long as I have known her, means trouble.

“Come on Alice, spit it out.”

“Alright, I was just trying to phrase this tactfully. But ok. So when did you get attacked by the bear? Was it after you came or was it before she did?” *****. I started to choke on my bagel. And when I tried to drink some water, it went down the wrong pipe.

“*****, Porter, here breathe. ***** Kit is gonna ***** kill me. Damn you Porter live!!!!. LIVE!!!!” She’s screaming and swatting my back, which isn’t helping, but I’m sure that goes without saying.

“Al, ALICE!!!!” I struggle to get out. She calms down while she bends down to see if I’m really ok.

“Thank God!!!” She says grabbing me into a huge bear hug.

“Al-A-can’t brea—–air-stop” Finally I manage to pull her off of me. Catching my breath I carefully take a sip of water while holding up a finger to signal her to not say anything to me.

“I thought you were dead.”

“No thanks to you. What was the question?” To that she just smiles and gleefully continues with her questions.

“Scratch marks.”

“Out of the question.” I say finally.

“But you said….”

“What I said was that you could ask any question and I might answer them. That is one that I’m not going to answer at all. What’s the next.”

“Ok, did she you know….you?”

“No dice, Al.”

“Oook. Who started it?”

“We both did.”

“What is that supposed to mean. I mean did you both just jump on each other as soon as you closed the door. Did you have it planned all along. Details, I need details.”

“We both initiated it Al, that all you need to know.”

“You know you are so vanilla, Porter it’s sickening. I can’t get a thing out of you.”