‘If you’re worried about income, you don’t have to, the gallery will provide enough, we’re solid.’ I interrupt her without thinking, with the words that I’ve been wanting to say to her for so long, however in completely different circumstances.

‘That’s not what worries me.’

‘What worries you then?’

‘My inspiration or the lack of it…’ She looks at me intently while slowly walking back and sitting down next to me. ‘… and yes eventually I will have to earn some income.’

‘But you always earned the most, it’s ok to take time, I’ve got it covered.’

‘I wasn’t aware it matters who earns more.’

‘It didn’t, at least not before…’ Just before I end my sentence I realize she has me in a pat position. The only way to escape is to literally escape to the kitchen, to get away from her soft voice that lurs me in and her awaiting eyes. When I find myself in the kitchen, she doesn’t even give me time to figure out my next move and even less to figure out what I’m doing in the kitchen in the first place.

‘Before what?’ She leans against the furthest wall, but her low voice resonates in my ear, as if she is only inches away. When I don’t answer she repeats her question. ‘I don’t understand, before what?’

‘It doesn’t matter now. Do you want a glass of water too?’

‘Did I ever give you the feeling that what you earn is not enough?’

‘God no.’

‘Bette…’ She follows me out of the kitchen and sits down at the dining table while I cross my arms and lean against it, aware that I’ve used all my escapes and that she has me checkmate. ‘We could afford all that we wanted right?”

‘All except for you taking time off.’

‘I only mentioned taking time off when……’

‘When we would have…’

‘Are you serious?’ She asks barely above a whisper while rubbing her forehead with her hand.

‘Of course I’m serious. You said many times how much you would love to stay at home the first years with our kid.’

‘But we talked about it so many times, we planned, we saved…it was very much possible, otherwise….’

‘Technically it was possible yes, but never while maintaining the same lifestyle and giving our kid the best of everything.’ I turn to her fiercely, trying to steady my erratic heartbeat. This shocked look on her face is one of the looks I badly wanted to avoid. ‘The only way to do that was to make the gallery a success and do it fast so I would have time later for us as a family.’