Fan Fiction
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Valediction (Three/Three)
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It took awhile before I was able to call somebody. The first number I dialed was Shane’s, and I wasn’t able to say anything. I didn’t have to. I heard her tell Jenny, and from there, things started to happen. Jenny called the necessary people, and a very nice guy from the funeral home came for Dana just as Shane, Jenny, Bette and Tina came for me. I didn’t leave until the guy took Dana’s wedding ring off and put it gently into my hand. He had tears in his eyes.
The crying seemed endless. I don’t remember much about the immediate aftermath, I was too out of it. Everyone was there for me, though, and they held me up. It wasn’t that I was sad, exactly. I mean, of course I was, but I was strangely happy at the same time. I really think Dana died in the way she wanted to, and that meant a lot to me. It was the greatest thing I could have given her.
The funeral was heartbreaking. The pastor talked about what a champion she’d been, in everything. I was touched that he referred to me as Dana’s wife, but I have to confess I didn’t hear much more of the service. I was crying too hard, holding onto Shane and Howie.
Dana’s parents wanted to put her in the family mausoleum. She’d sent them a letter stating her final wishes (we all had one), but they told me they’d had a spot marked for her anyway. I knew Dana wouldn’t want them to be sad, so I gave them some of her ashes to put into the vault. Through their tears, they told me it wasn’t necessary, but Dana would have wanted it that way.
The rest of us, including Howie, took her ashes to her old summer camp and spread them there, like she’d asked. We all said goodbye there, but do you want to know something strange? Every time I want to talk to her, I go sit on one of the trailside benches at Runyon Canyon. I guess I feel closer to her, that way.
Her letters to everyone were brilliant. She wrote more than fifty of them to me, and I went and had them laminated and bound so I can keep them. The last one had to have been written not long before she died, since her handwriting is so weak and scratchy. It doesn’t say much aside from "I’ve always loved you, I don’t remember a single day when I didn’t. As long as I’m able to, I’ll keep feeling the same way. Love doesn’t end, it just gets different. Thank you for making my life so wonderful." I made a copy of it to be bound with the rest, but I keep that one under my pillow to read when I need to. It helps on the bad days.
Since she died, I’ve been wearing her wedding ring on a chain around my neck. No matter when or where I happen to touch it, it’s always warm. It might just be my imagination playing tricks on me, but it is. I still wear mine on my finger, and I think I will until I find someone again. Then I’ll move it to the chain with Dana’s ring.
After everything, remembering her makes me happy. I think that’s a gift; I’m glad that thinking of her doesn’t make me sad. I know she’s okay, somehow, and I know I will be. Someday. When I forget that, I just remember what she said about the rings symbolizing no beginning and no end. I think that’s as hopeful a thing to believe as any.
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Wow I had to choke back tears and swallow a lump in ym throat more than a few times. I never cry at fanfics but this one almost got me. Perfect MT just fucking perfect. xx Oh and get better soon hun :)
perfect, very sad.. but perfect. Thank you.
*blows nose and puts tissue away* I was dreading the end of this story. This story was amazingly beautiful but SO sad. I’m looking forward to an update of your ‘happy’ story “You” (especially to that certain something coming :P).
Wow, what a beautifully written piece, expertly catching the emotions inlcuding sadness, love and, yes, happiness of these two wonderful people. You are definitely a wonderful writer and I hope you are feeling much better and can continue with YOU very soon. Thank you
okay – i can barely see what i writing due to the tears that are in my eyes. that was really beautiful. definitely your best writing so far. please give us something happy now. that was devestating. great job.
This story should come with a warning label like ‘May Cause Dehydration’ – it was exquisitely written. I miss Dana.
amazing as per usual. feel better so you can get back to writing a happier version of this in “You”.
Perfect. The way it should have been to begin with.
Very sad, but better than the show by a lot, more settled and peaceful and loving
you had me in tears these two last chapters :'( great story!
*gul* This was breathtakingly beautiful. I choked up more then once. You made me cry. *sigh* It was very moving, so much better and so much more human then the stuff we got to see on tv. I liked it. But I’m glad to see the newest part of “you” soon.
I know you had to do it and you did it perfectly. You are such a gifted writer even when I am not thrilled with the subject. You helped fill the void IC left.
Simply beautiful!WOW…I have a lump in my throat and holding back tears!!!You are truly gifted!!!
That was just beautiful. I was crying at the end if only the show could have done such a great job.
Best fanfic ever. What more can I say. You are incredibly talented
thank you for this story. i can’t think of a more fitting ending to dana’s cancer story. you’re truly gifted and i sincerely hope you’ll continue to write danish fanfics.
I so inspired by the beauty in how you wrote this. It gripped my heart and stayed with me. I read it yesterday, cried my tears but still it’s with me. Thank you for sharing your talent. I am so touched.
Ok I hardly even comment fanfics but how could I not on this one? I am literally in tears. I never cry from stories or movies. If you think of the saddest movie ever, I guarantee I could watch it and not one tear would form. Yet, these last two chapters have kept me crying. This fic was absolutely amazing. You’re amazing! Blew IC out of the water! They should take lessons from you. Can’t wait for an update on “You”.
Picturing the scene: You’re reading a book, or watching a movie, and you just have to call it off because you’re so into it that you find it almost painful to keep on doing it. So you decide to just quit. You press the pause bottom. You put the book in the freezer. Well, this has happened to me twice: the first one was a movie by Isabel Coixet; the second one ,Valediction. A couple of months ago I quit reading it at some point of the second chapter. I knew it was just fiction, but it felt so real… I just couldn’t make it. (I know, I know… Too corny!) But yesterday I did. I read all of it, and well, you got me speechless (you know… my English skills are so limited!! :p) Today I’ve bound it!! I handmade a little book (I love arts & crafts!). But unlike Alice with Dana’s letters, I think I won’t be able to read it again… I promise I won’t put it in the freezer, though!