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Valediction (Two/Three)
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Shane wasn’t so easily dissuaded, though…and while it hurt me to see her so sad, I truly appreciate that she wouldn’t let me go alone. Sometimes I wonder perversely what she would have been like with this disease. A lot stronger than me, I think. Of course, I have nothing to base that off of aside from my own convictions and the quiet way she shows her strength, but I think she’d be great. I suppose it’s one of my many blessings that I’ll never know. Of course, she’s not always strong; the entire thing with Carmen proved that. Still, she never let me see her fall, and she was definitely my rock, as much as Alice was. I just hope she’ll be okay when I’m gone. I love her a lot. I love them all a lot.
Anyway, Dr. Shapiro wanted me to try antiestrogen therapy before I chanced the chemo. It didn’t work; we weren’t very hopeful from the beginning. Still, he wanted to try, in case it would work and I could spare myself the chemo. I think it’s sweet that he tried to do that for me, and I feel bad for him. I’d never be able to do what he does, and although I’m sure he tries to distance himself from most patients for his own good, I could see his pain for me in his eyes. Poor guy. I should really write him a letter. I’ve been thinking of doing that, for everybody.
When it was obvious that chemo was the next step, he and the rest of my oncology team thought up a new cocktail of drugs for me. It was called CAF – Cytoxan, Adriamycin, and 5-fluorouracil. Later, if I hadn’t been so fucking sick, I think I would have pitied my cancer cells. It was that bad. Shane picked me up at one for the two o’clock appointment, the first time. Dr. Shapiro had already written the orders, but we knew from experience that there would be a mountain of paperwork to do, and we were right. When that was done, we had to wait on the pharmacy to approve the drugs. I didn’t end up sitting down in the familiar recliner until after three. Shane sat beside me on a hard wooden stool and just chattered at me. I have no idea what she said; I was too lost in my own thoughts. I don’t even think she knew; she was more nervous than I was. I wanted to tell her that getting the chemo was nothing at all compared to what would come after, but I just didn’t have the heart.
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I wanted to stay in my happy place and I was really reluctant to read this story. The fact that it was written by you, persuaded me and I’m glad I did. Even though I am crying my eyes out right now, I’m happy to know thatDana spends her last days with the love of her life and is surrounded by her friends. The story captivated me so much that, after reading it, I realized my music player had been playing Akon with I wanna f*ck you on repeat (don’t ask me why). So I’ve been listening to the most unromatic song while reading your immensly moving story! Weird huh?! Anyways, looking forward to the wedding chapter (and looking less forward to the part where we have to say goodbye to Dana).
I cant express how amazing I thought that was, you’ve got me crying my eyes out. Your writing just blows me away. If I’m crying now I’m gonna be so much worse next chapter but I know its gonna be incredible. You are so unbelievably talented x
hey, I just caught up with this. What can I say? This is one strong piece. I’m kinda speechless. Like some other readers here I was getting choked up while reading some parts. The proposal for example and so many more. I’m glad you decided this to be 3 parts, cause seriously, I couldn’t take more of it, since I know what’s going to happen. AND I’m glad you decided to not put this storyline into your other story. Cause that’s my happy one. And you better be updating that fast, lol.;)Great work.
Fantastic piece of work – so sad, yet so happy, looking forward to more very soon.
i don’t think i’ve commented on any story in months but after reading that chapter i couldn’t NOT comment! you literally had me choking on that lump you get at the back of your throat when you’re fighting off tears. i did managed to hold off the tears until the part about alice and the group going to pick fresh flowers. that’s when i completely lost it! you’ve written your version of dana’s cancer story so beautifully. this story it really gives “bittersweet” a whole new meaning. thank you for giving us danish lovers something so precious. i can’t wait to read the final chapter
Wow!I can’t stop crying I can’t wait till they get married
OMG I’ve not cried so much in a long long time…It’s a sad story butits done in such a great way…..I need to get the hankies out for the next chapter I think! PPS
WOW…Okay I’m totally tearing up at work, but at least I am watching The View in the background which is making me laugh…WOW WOW WOW…this is so beautiful! (BTW I do love my job, just a rough time in the industry). Your writing is amazing! Just simply amazing! I have a feeling when the final chapter comes I will need at least a bottle of wine and a box of tissues.
Beautifully sad. Simple as. You have a gift for writing that stirs up emotions I didn’t think were possbile while reading a fictional story. :)
Beautiful as always.
I totally can’t comment on how amazing that was so I’m not gonna even try.xx
wow. seriously, wow. im so not a crier, but ive been bawling since page 3. i just wanted it to end so that i could stop weeping, but i also wanted it to keep going b/c its that fucking good. i bow down to u muted :)
I echo everyone above – this was a sublime read. Oh! and I blame you for my brief but eww moment of nasalingus.