Bette felt the warm water around her legsstanding up in the tub she turned the tap off. Slowlyvery slowlyshe kneeled downthe water burning the scraps on her kneesslowly…very very slowly she sat downimmediately Bette jumped upthe water burned her crotch like it was on fire.she put her hand down there and covered herselfslowly she went back down and sat in the tub. Slowly Bette moved until she was lying down then very slowly moved her handit burned again but not so bad..she let the water wash the dirt off hershe exhaled and closed her eyes tightly
.never ever had she felt this worthlessthis was the ultimate shameBette suddenly sobbed and started to frantically rub herself all overtrying to wash the dirt blood sweat HIM off hershe rubbed and rubbed her skin until it was raw then fell back and sank inthe water covered her face and she pressed her body to the bottom of the bathtub….she could feel the water enter her noselongerlonger.Bette was beginning to black out when she gasped for air and sat upher thoughts were incoherent screams.she could not go to police..nononononoshe could not be proddedshe could notshe wanted to forget forget forget forget
Suddenly Bette jumped..wincing she stared into the mirror..Betteget a hold of yourselfget a hold of yourselfget a hold of yourself
After an hour of talking to herself Bette calmed down..and pushed everything inside her deep deep deep inside hershe calmly collected her clothesburned them in the yard wearing a robe and collected her workthe work she brought homethey were all over the place and she cleaned it upin fact she cleaned the entire ***** houseshe was like Tina on speedha-hacleaning cleaning cleaningshe was ok everything was going to be okshe was finereally really finethats all she fine..shes ok..shes gonna be okthe old Bette is back..the collected Bettewho is this woman? This hysterical crazy Bette? ..she cleaned until one in the morning and ate dinnerafter she cleaned the dishes Bette opened the knife drawer to put away the knives that were washedBette pausedlook at them all lined up like soldiersnicepretty.sharp.
Suddenly Bette grabbed the biggest knife and started stabbing all the shelves the fried the counters she ran screaming in the living room and started stabbing the couch..the fluff coming out in clumps she ran from room to room stabbing the walls and pillowsBette ran outside and fell to the ground stabbing the groundchurning the dirt.she thought of the pain she thought of daddy she thought of hurt of tears of loss of the lost baby of friends choking on her spit Bette stabbed the ground again thinking of ***** of rape rape rape rape rape of art of desire of Tina……..and then Bette started stabbing herself.