Bette always liked the drive home from work.eventually she went back. At first everybody treated her like she was delicate..but soon realized that she was still Bette. During the day Bette put her mask on her armor her shield and battled through tooth and claw. At night she was exposed and long after Tina was asleep she was awakebiting her pillow while the sweat dripped down every crevice of her body. Tina was pushing her to go to counselingeverybody wasbut she didnt want to. Eventually she promised Tina she would soonbut kept putting it off. Bette Porter still didnt like being interrogated by some therapist.
It took couple weeks till Bette could sit down or have a bowel movement without excruciating painbut it was physicaland it did heal. What didnt heal was Bette herself”daddy” almost killed her deep insidedeep inside Bette she felt the pain. The core of her being would never be the same again. Meanwhile she tried to hide that by bringing every old feeling the old Bette Porter felt and brought it forward. She walked with her head high and soon James tiptoed around herat least the CAC was running. However she walked with every muscle tensed.and she couldnt stand to be touched unexpectingly. One night while she was putting away the cutlery Tina passed by and touched briefly the small of her backlike in old times. And Bette jumped like no tomorrow and whipped around with a knifethey stared at each other then started laughing.even though both didnt see any humor in it.sometimes people just had to laugh in these intense situations. Relations between Bette and Tina were getting better. They did not really talk about heir problems though.
For Tina Candace seemed always to be in the back of her mindthough she did believe Bette was sorry and that she wouldnt do it againit hurt herand Tina knew she would have to speak to Bette eventually about it. Bette slipped into her old persona because she was terrified about the present and hid ran away did anything she could to hide the present deep inside.this came more than once. Like when Bette one morning started to boss her around forgetting she had work to doTina just looked at her and scoffedboth of them laughed about it and said it must have meant Bette was getting bettereven though both of them had a routine goingthere was an undercurrent of tension that needed to be dealtbut neither felt adequate enough to bring up anything. Intimately neither touched the other in a sexual manner. But that changed the night Bette was driving home.
In bed that night after a dinner consisting of stuffed mushrooms.Bette turned over while trying to get to sleep and was suddenly face to face with Tina who couldnt get to sleep either.both looked at each otherBette reached over and brushed a golden lock out of Tinas eyes
God Bette missed her Ts body…every nerve in her in that moment cried out to be touched in a gentle loving manner…she needed someone to make her feel good. Bette trembled as she felt Ts though press her ownshe felt Ts shoulder and stroked it and went further down to her handbring it up Bette kissed each fingersucking each one.Nathan did not even enter her mind at that moment..Bette looked up and saw such desire in Ts eyes she gaspedO T.and with that Bette kissed her gently on the lipsshe felt Ts tongue and sucked on itfeeling the muscle move with her lipsshe stroked Ts back and pushed her body closer until their stomachs were touching o Tshe felt T kiss her earthe deaf one from when Haywood boxed itand kissed Bettes cheeksgod she felt goodher lips felt good.she whisper in Bettes mouthis it all right Bette?…..Bette gasped a yes as T kissed each eyebrowT never approached hershe was waiting for Bette even though sexual frustration was coming on.o her patient TBette kissed her shoulder and neck feeling Ts hands reach down from her back and stroke he behind kissing her gentlyBette moved her head back to look at T..and saw daddy.

Bette screamed and pushed T off the bedshe curled in a ball and sobbed in her pillow. In her mind she felt every single painful feeling she forced to hide in herself come up and tug at her nerves tug at her brain.Bette tore at her hair and bit her lip..T came back up and held onto herBette sobbed and spoke in her staccato breathing.I cant I cant im sorry Tina but I cant I can t I cant do it anymore im sorry I cant I cant…o god I want to but I CANT..Tina held onto her and didnt let go.Bette closed her eyes tightly and dug her nails in Tinas back staining her neck with tears.salty fearful tears. Fr into the night they lay that waythe night crawled on like a black spider and the dawn came to push it away..they lay there and the love medicine between them grewand the frustration. Eventually Bette pulled and crawled to her side of the bedshe lay there curled tightlyher arms around herself. It was like she couldnt bear to be touched she didnt want anybody near her. Bette looked over at Tina who was by now asleep. Bette slipped out of bed into the bathroom. She looked into the mirror and saw a stranger there. She touched the glass.then punched it so hard shards flew in every directionwith blood melting on her hand she sank to the floor

….her head between her knees heavy with a kind of sorrow she only read about.