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Walking After You ch. 17
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"About what?"
"Why you’re afraid of me reading your emails?"
"I’m not afraid. Why would I be? I would welcome you to read them. Tomorrow, I’ll show you my whole inbox. How about that?" After I delete a few messages.
"Oh, Jesus, Tina. You don’t need to do that." Bette forced a laugh. "I respect your privacy. Besides, I trust you."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Tina, can I have a glass of water?"
"Sure."
As Tina got up to get her water, Bette sank into the bed. She hated how she and Tina had become so distant. Physically, Tina was so sweet and affectionate. But every word out of her mouth seemed to push her further away from Bette. It wasn’t anything Bette could really identify. It was just a feeling, a sense of being shut out. Bette grieved for the openness they once had. She wondered where the hell it went. She wished she could get a hold of her psychologist. But being bedridden would probably not make it easy for her to go her sessions. She reminded herself to call Dr. Morga’s office in the morning to cancel the rest of her sessions, at least until she could move without pain.
Tina returned with a glass of water and the ubiquitous pain pill. Looking up at Tina’s gentle but tired smile, Bette had a sudden painful realization. She was the one who had started pulling away first.
Shit, it’s my fault again.
Tina noticed how Bette’s face noticeably fell. She sat quickly and looked closer. "What’s the matter, Bette? Are you in pain? Do you need to go to the hospital?"
Bette took the water and the pill and put both aside. She grabbed Tina’s hands gently. She forced herself to meet Tina’s eyes. With a grim determination, she spoke,
"Tina. I love you."
"I love you too."
"I love you. Do you believe me?"
"Bette, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me."
"Do you believe me?"
"Are you in pain?"
Bette closed her eyes. She again forced them to open and look deeply into Tina’s eyes. She spoke again, with a hint of desparation,
"Tina, I love you."
"I know." Tina answered, puzzled.
"I’m not just saying that to avoid saying the words that must be said." Bette tightened her grip on Tina’s hand. "If you have ever thought otherwise, I’m sorry."
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Angst and frustration but I stll love the story
one minute they seem so much in love and the other…drama!thank you for this story.Sorry to hear about Maine.
What a ride on the B&T Roller-coaster!
this is so how it can get though…maybe not as dramatic maybe more…but fear just projects all this stuff out at each other and slowly you move away. I feel thaey are getting closer to listening to each other…so I am keeping the faith
Just caught up with the story, and SO glad that I did! What an incredible job you are doing writing this. You know I loved the first story, and now this story has wrapped itself around me. Thank you for coming back to us to continue this story of Bette and Tina.
yes, you made me sad but i trust you…B&T should have couple’s therapy or keep talking, sometimes letting things out even in anger and frustration can help
Oh no this is bad and sad, hope they will calm down and talk and work things out. Please post more, thanks!
Bette needs to be stopped before she kills the relationship. Tina is only human. Thanks. Painful but, thanks!
I think both B&T need to go to therapy together. They both have things to say to each other, but don’t know how to say them. Bette’s insecurities and Tina’s past are colliding. They seriously need help. A very intense update. PPSAs for Maine,f**k you. I think we should get our own state and pass our own laws.
Hrm, they’re both doing things to push the other away. Tina knows good and well that if Bette finds out the real reason she’s on a first-name basis with her professor, then Bette’s going to freak out. And Bette… where to start with Bette? She doesn’t want to be needy, but she seems to need a lot. Maybe they really should both see Dr Morga together. Cos what they’re doing isn’t quite working… Great writing, thanks 7. (And as for Maine being the latest state to show how its constituents just can’t frigging see sense…. It all makes me want to throttle people, en masse. *sigh*)
well that went well :0 its good bette recognizes that she was pulling away, creating a self fulfilling prophecy by acting in a way that makes it more likely tina will leave her – but i so wish the last part didnt happen – ouch. always blaming herself but being unable to get over her fears doesnt help either. i dont know if therapy will help them or what – tinas clearly hurt & angry at how things changed tho it wasnt expressed (or maybe she never allowed herself to really feel in her ‘caretaker’ role for bette) til now. not sure what will break on thru but i trust that youll fix them again somehow :-) thanks 7pm and PPS
Well at least they are talking even though it went all wrong. They both need to see the therapist. Thank you for this story.
at least they talked, however awful the talking went…great writing…hopefully, they will reconcile their differences before Tina gets too entangled with this Harriett. PPS
Wow, it’s like watching a train wreck seeing these two try to communicate….ouch. Time for a good couples therapist, this is beyond being something they can just talk through themselves.
Holy Hell!! Love! Hate! Love! The agony of it replicated by the agony of B and her busted arm. Painful. How many bits of the arm can she break b4 they get thru this?
Hey 7PM, Another tough and aggressive argument between Bette and Tina. All these gals seem able to do at the moment is fight. They are pulling each other apart.I do agree that couples therapy is in order. Perhaps by having a trained thrird party in the room will help them actually listen and understand with the other is trying to say without flying off the handle and proving how little this moments mean to them.Bette is in pain and still refuses to let Tina help. Tina is getting mad and frustrated at this rejection.I do hope they sort through their issues soon.I am happy that we in Britain have the good sense to se the validity of gay marriage and continue to support same sex civil partnerships. Shame that teh US democracy does not feel the same.7PM, you rock!Many thanks from Your Loyal Fan.