“Bette…”

    “Wait, hear me out. This isn’t being dramatic, or
being angsty… I know I wallow. I know it. I know I have a lot of dark
thoughts and tragic imaginings…”

    “Bette, I didn’t mean that…”

    “You did and I see your point. I understand. I have been a blackhole of negativity. I know it.”

    Tina sighed deeply and stopped walking. She grabbed Bette’s hand and tugged her to a stop.

    “Bette, those things I said, I regret them…”

    “Don’t.” Bette turned to Tina and stared deeply into
her eyes. Several seconds passed, with just a look exchanged between
them.

    “I love you.”

    “I know you do, Bette…”

    “And I don’t have to act… to perform… What I’m
saying is, I love you and sometimes I feel it so much that I’m
paralyzed…”

    Tina opened her mouth and tried to interrupt again.
Bette put a finger to her lips. “I don’t know how to show you…
Everything I do seems inadequate… I am disappointed in myself that…
I am afraid I will fail you somehow… like I’ve failed before… and
sometimes I just want a little time and space for myself… to make
sure I am still whole.”

    “I understand.”

    “Do you? Do you know how it feels when you love
someone so much that seeing them feels like an erosion? When I’m with
you, I am so tempted to fall into you completely. I feel so pulled,
so… so unable to get away… I am afraid to fall into you Tina. If
you go away, I will have nothing left. Not even myself.”

    Tina swallowed hard. She could see the fear in
Bette’s eyes. It made her feel afraid too. She allowed Bette some time
to calm down before speaking.

    “You know, I love you too much to let that happen. I
know you’re afraid. I am too. I can’t promise you that we’re going to
be together forever. I don’t know that. Do I want that? I want it too
much, I guess. I want to be with you, to keep you, to hold you forever.
But we both know sometimes things happen to… to make that impossible.”

    What are you saying, Tina?”

    “I’m saying, if you fall into me, I’ll help you get
up. I don’t want you to lose yourself. You’re stronger than you think,
Bette. I was wrong before.”

    “Wrong?”

    “When I said you were a blackhole.” Bette winced and
Tina put her hands on either side of Bette’s face. She lovingly
smoothed down Bette’s unruly hair. She gently put her palms behind
Bette’s ears, cupping them slightly as though to will them to hear
better. “You’re not a blackhole, my love. You’re a supernova. I am in
awe of you.”

    Tina leaned forward, waiting if Bette would meet her
halfway. Bette hesitated for a heartbeat, then tenderly pressed her
lips against Tina’s.

    On their way back to the house, Bette and Tina
walked hand in hand, sporting mutually peaceful smiles. Bette 
tossed a final look up at the sky and whispered, “Thanks.”

    “Hey Tina,” Bette nudged her shoulder against Tina’s.

    “Baby?”

    “You do know that a supernova is a dying star right?”

    Tina started to laugh. She laughed until she was
bent over, holding her stomach tight. Bette watched in amusement as
Tina laughed all of her anxiety and pain out of her system.

    “I love you, you geek.” Tina grabbed Bette around
the waist and spun her into the house. Bette laughed along with Tina,
feeling her own fears melt and sluice away, along with the sweat she’d
worked up walking. Joining Tina was definitely a good idea, Bette
decided.

    “You do know that a geek originally meant a circus
freak that bit off chicken heads, right?” Bette deadpanned.

    “Shut up and kiss me, geek.” Tina chuckled and attacked Bette’s mouth with hunger and love.

TBC