“Can we go eat?” right…food.

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The thick warm feel of sleep dragging my body down back onto the bed. The white walls of the room blurry, and I don’t really remember where I am. Sitting up in bed, the white light pouring in from the windows and I can remember everything. That sick overpowering smell of Jax’s aftershave, of the ocean water that comes from his board. I can remember going shopping with Shane and Carmen…going to some place called the planet for dinner. My head heavy with everything that happened with the fact that I’m not on the beach or at Jax’s place. That I’m in a new bed, in a room just for me and I seriously feel like I’m going crazy. This is happening way too fast…how the fuck did I get here?

Getting out of bed the soft warm feel of the carpet and I wonder what time it is. I haven’t slept the whole night through for so long; I don’t even remember what time I fell asleep. The light flicking on in the bathroom, everything glaring bright hurting my eyes, the water cold against my hand. Looking at the scar the side of my eye and I see there faces, I see there fist. Trying to forget it, and I can hear there voices echo in the back of my head. Look at someone the wrong way and that’s what happens, the door opens easily against my touch. The muffled sound of an alarm clock going off down the hall and I try to make as little noise as possible…the others always got pissed when I was up before them. They use to yell saying that I made to much noise and that I was lucky to get a cot in the basement from them.

“Go away,” her voice booming and my pulse races when I hear it.

“Shane stop acting like a two year old and get out of bed….” holding my breath afraid that there door would open and they would find me standing here, thinking what ever they think. “Does that make it better?”

“No…it just makes me want to go back to bed.” she mumbles something and I really have go…it’s just getting weird and gross. I really don’t want to hear that, god that’s…too many images that I don’t want in my head.