PREVIOUSLY: Thats the point Dana. Objectively, yes. I know you love me. But for some reason, theres something inside of me that keeps me from accepting that. And its not you. Youre wonderful. Youre amazing. Youre the most wonderful woman on the ***** planet, and I dont feel like I deserve you. So I need time to figure out my *****. I need to figure out why I cant believe you when you say you love me, why I worry every day that Im going to lose you. Ive never dreamed of anything being this wonderful. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I need to make sure that Im more secure with who I am. As Dana looked at Alice sitting on the floor, makeup streaming down her face, everything made sense. Alice didnt doubt that Dana loved her, it was simply that she didnt fully comprehend why Dana felt the way she did. Despite Danas attempts to explain otherwise, Alice didnt feel that she was worthy of being loved. As Dana sat on the floor beside Alice and tried to wipe away her tears, she knew that somehow, she had to make Alice see herself the way Dana saw her. But how? —————————————————————– CHAPTER FOUR Dana stared at Alice, wondering what she could have done differently. Could she have been more vocal about her feelings, been more romantic everyday? Dana had never thought that Alice needed those things. But then again, Dana had never asked. The transition from friends to lovers had happened so quickly, so seamlessly, that the two had never had a chance to discover all of those little things about the other. As Dana gazed down at Alice, she made two resolutions. She was going to be there for Alice, in whatever way the blonde needed at the moment. And she was going to prove to Alice that she, Dana Fairbanks, was head over heels in love. How? Well, she hadnt gotten that far yet. Dana reached down and pulled Alice to her feet. Holding the blonde at arms length, she wiped a tear off of her face and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Tenderly, she kissed Alice on the cheek. It was a chaste kiss, one that two close friends would share. But Dana still felt her heart pounding in her chest. Alice, I should probably go. You sure? We still have some stuff to talk about. Well, its nothing that cant wait until tomorrow. Or later today for that matter. Right now, I really just want to be alone, to think about stuff. Ok. That makes sense, Alice said haltingly, *****. I just realized you dont have your car. Do you want a ride? No, Al. Thats ok. Ill walk. I think I need the air, need the time to think. Alice looked at Dana quizzically. Are you sure? Its pretty far, and I dont mind What, you think Im too weak, teased Dana, trying to mask the tears in her voice. Of course not, said Alice. An awkward silence fell over the room as the two women stared at each other, each one unsure of what to do next. Finally, Alice broke the silence. Come on. Ill walk you out. Sounds like a plan. As the two women walked down the hall in silence, Dana was lost in thought. Was it stupid for her to let Alice go this easily? Should she put up more of a fight, or would that backfire? When she said goodbye, was she still allowed to kiss Alice? Where should she kiss her? Was a hug too much? Dana had no clue what she and Alice were. Were they still dating? Were they just friends? Suddenly, she felt Alice grab her hand and nothing else mattered. Dana squeezed it reassuringly, softly stroking the slim fingers. Alice, I need to get my bag out of the mini. Ok. The two women walked over to the car, still holding hands, their fingers intertwined, but always moving, as if they were communicating their love for one another through some sort of sign language only they knew. As Alice leaned over to open the door, Dana placed her free hand on the blondes shoulder. Alice turned around and looked at Dana. Whats up Dane? she asked, bewilderedly. You just look like you need a hug. A warm smile broke over Alice’s face, and she turned to face Dana completely. Slowly, Dana reached her arms around Alices torso, pulling the blonde close. Her eyes started to fill with tears, and her heart was beating so loudly that she was sure Alice could hear it. She leaned her forehead on Alices shoulder, and inhaled, half-trying to catch her breath, and half-trying to memorize Alices smell. Dana felt Alices arms tighten around her, and she felt hot tears on her shoulder. Dana, murmured Alice. What, Baby? Dana knew that using the pet name was probably a mistake, but for the moment, she didnt care. I dont want to let go. Then dont. Tears started to flow freely from Danas eyes as she held Alice even tighter. She drew her face back and lifted Alices eyes to gaze in to her own. The look in Alices eyes mirrored her feelings exactly. Fear of the unknown, confusion, loss. Suddenly, Dana lost control. Stumbling backwards, she smashed her lips against Alices, assaulting the blondes mouth with her own. Her tongue flickered against Alices lips, demanding entry. Alices back hit the side of the mini, and her mouth quickly opened in shock. Dana took advantage of this, and thrust her tongue roughly in to Alices wet mouth. She grabbed the back of Alices head, holding the blondes mouth steady against her own. Dana felt hot tears smearing across her face, and she wasnt sure if they were hers or Alices, as both the women were sobbing in to the kiss at this point. Finally, Dana ran out of air. She pulled her head back and looked at Alice. The blondes eyes were filled with an animalistic passion that Dana had never seen before. Alice ran her hands slowly and seductively over Danas stomach, grazing up towards her nipples. This is such a ***** mistake, she said, leaning in for another kiss. Dont you think I know that, Dana said after pulling away, gulping slightly as Alice lightly pinched her nipples. Dont you think I know that youre never going to figure things out if we keep doing this? She ran her hands down Alices back, tucking them in to the waistband of her skirt, playing with the top of her thong. Then why dont you stop? asked Alice, right before running her tongue over Danas collarbone, pausing to suck on the spot she knew the athlete loved most. Because, said Dana, her hands on Alices *****, I cant look at you and not touch you, not want to make you scream out my name. Without warning, she lifted Alice in the air. Instinctually, Alice wrapped her legs around Danas waist. One of Danas arms was under Alice, keeping her supported, while the other was under her skirt, exploring. *****, Dana, Alice said in a grunt, as the brunettes finger brushed her swollen *****. You do realize were outside, in the middle of the day. I dont ***** care, Dana muttered, thrusting two fingers in to Alices warm, moist center. Oh GOD, Alice yelled, her face buried in Danas shoulder. She began to kiss Dana erratically, sucking on whatever her mouth came in to contact with. She latched on to Danas right ear, and sucking turned to biting. Dana continued to ravage Alice with her fingers. Alice. I love you so ***** much. There is no one but you. Ever. Alice wrapped her legs tightly around Dana, and whispered in her ear, Take me inside, Dana. Please. Dana pulled her fingers out of Alices slick folds and wrapped both arms around her waist. Are you sure, baby? Thats probably not the smartest idea, for either one of us. ***** smart, Dana. I need to not think right now. I need you. As Dana carried Alice back up in to the apartment, felt a knot of panic in her stomach. Was this the last time she would ever make love to the woman of her dreams? TBC