The second year they stayed at Paris, Bette found out Tina was going out with someone behind her back. She pretended that she was unaware of it. Every night, Bette would curl up at the corner of her bed, crying and hating herself for not being good enough for Tina. She naively thought that if she just shut her eyes and deny the truth, she still had Tina with her.

Bette decided that she would make dinner for Tina. She remembered the first year they were together, Tina said that she would loved Bette to cook for her, is the happiest thing that could happen to her. Bette wanted so desperately to make Tina happy again. As she putting on the final touch on the roasted chicken, Tina walked into the kitchen.

Hey T, youre back. Bette said. I made you your favorite dish
Before Bette could finish her sentence, Tina cut her off, I just had my dinner with my colleague. Put it in the oven and I will reheat it tomorrow. With that, Tina walked straight to the bedroom without looking at Bette. She walked to the bedroom, taking of her shirt, she heard Bette voice trembling, Are you seeing someone else?

Tina turned around; Bette was standing near the door, her body slouched at the wall.

Why are you still pretending theres nothing wrong between us? Her eyes were getting red.

Im just afraid that you going to leave me. Bette helplessly said.

Im not worth it, babe. Tina cried as she pulled Bette into her arm.

T, dont you love me?

I I dont know what love is anymore. Tina forehead was resting on Bette chest. She needed to find her happiness. She thought she could find it in Bette warm embraces, just liked that night when Bette told her that she could made her happy.

Bette understands the betrayal. The feeling of guilt, lost of control, she wished that she could have done that to Tina. If only I can stop loving her, if only I can love someone else instead of her, this will make things easier between us. But she couldnt.

Bette wanted to forgive Tina. But as hard as she may try, she wasnt as forgiving as she thinks she was. Suspicion was always there, the image of other person holding and kissing Tina, her T, was killing her. Bette hated Tina broken the trust between them. Love without trust is nothing worth holding on. This hurt, T. Cant you see Im hurting inside? Looking at the women sleeping next to her, thinking about their relationship that was slowly sinking to the very bottom sea, she hated herself for not being able to do anything to stop it.

Bette spends the next morning calling Tina on her handset, but never gets through. She decided to wait for her to come home. The minute Tina walk through the front door, Bette couldnt help but probing the question, Whereve you been this whole day? Id been trying to call you.

You did? Tina fish out her handset and realized shed turned it off the whole day. Im sorry babe, I didnt turn it on.

As she enter the bedroom she asked, Is it urgent?

Bette was watching Tina as she taking off her clothes. She wanted Tina. She needed to feel her warm naked body, to look at the lust in her eyes, to see that Tina still desire her. Placing both hand on her waist, Bette pressed her body close to Tina.

Im tired, and I dont want to Before Tina could finish her sentence, Bette pushed her on the bed.

Stop it! Tina was struggling underneath.

Is this a test T? Are you testing my love for you? Bette was screaming and clutching her finger deep on Tinas arm.

What are you doing? Youre hurting me! Get your hand off me! Tina tried to struggle free from Bettes strong grip.

***** you Tina, I Love you! Bette screamed once more at Tina.

Tina was shock. Let go of your hand Bette, now! Or I will hate you.

tbc