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What is love? – Chapter 15
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But when she finally forced herself to go, she had the same feeling and it seemed to be stronger.
She would have liked to have been able to keep the ocean around her, but couldn’t. She didn’t want shells all over her home although she might keep the shell she was now holding. And Bette had never seen a work of art that touched what she felt about the sea.
She had always thought of herself as a city girl. The city was exciting, noisy, fast, pulsating with energy. Bette had grown up in a city and, after college, worked in a city.
But the beach was as exciting as the cities she had lived in, but also peaceful. Like the cities it pulsated with strength and energy, but unlike the city, was delicate and comforting. The sound of the surf, the taste and smell of the salt air made her happy and secure. Bette always slept better when she heard the steady sound of the waves crashing against the shore. The ocean was all things.
She knew she loved it and when she realized that, she felt a little strange and silly. It reminded her of those poets who wrote about loving daffodils and such and Bette had always thought them a bit sappy. She knew she loved the ocean but she had never told anyone because they might think her silly. But she had decided that maybe those poems about daffodils weren’t so sappy after all.
“Tina, I love you.”
There had been times, twice actually, that she had brought a woman to the beach, but it had turned out to seem inappropriate. And so she had started going to the beach alone.
She hadn’t gone to the beach alone since she met Tina. And she and Tina had never gone to the beach.
Bette had never told anyone about these solitary trips to the ocean and what they meant to her. Most people didn’t pry when she left town alone for a weekend and Alice thought that she had a hot number stashed away somewhere outside of Los Angeles.
“So who’s the woman?” Alice had asked when Bette returned from one of these weekends.
Bette had smiled, a Mona Lisa smile.
“It has to be ***** because you’re so peaceful and happy and have such a satisfied smile. The only time you are like this is when you have spent the weekend making the beast with two backs.”
“Not true, Alice.”
And for a fleeting moment Alice thought that Bette might be telling the truth. But then Bette chuckled and Alice knewit was *****.
But of course, it wasn’t *****. Not exactly, even though Bette knew that the ocean had a power that was like *****. And she always felt that energy there.
But when Bette approached the ocean, she could feel herself shedding the frantic feelings created by her job and the city she lived in. By the time she reached the beach she had shed the last layer of tension and was at peace.
Some scientists might say it was ionization that made her feel good at the beach. Other scientists might say that we return to the ocean because life began there. Our life. But Bette didn’t consider any of this. She knew that how she felt about the beach was not about science; it was visceral and it was about the heart and soul.
Bette wanted to love Tina. She really did. And she had come to the beach to try to understand her heart. She didn’t think to ask herself why she had chosen the beach, but she should have. So she was walking along the surf, talking to a shell.
“I love you, Tina.”
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That was awesome.
very nice- you captured Bette’s questioning very believably.
I’m in love with this story, but I’ve been afraid to admit it…
Pink Shell Tina, yummy yummy; cute Bette, yummy yummy. =D
One thing for sure Bette is stubborn. Let her take Tina to the beach and tell her she love her. Then that will be a special place for both of them together. Thanks
sometimes people just need a little alone time with nature to ease the tension and gain some insights in life. Nice chapter, but I bet it would be better with Tina in it.
Our bette porter needs to get some flowers go to tina’s drop to her knees and confess I Love U T.im just scared of being in love with a straight girl.
wow – your depiction of Bette finding peace within when near the ocean is wonderful – the counterbalance to her father’s notion of no tears is an ocean filled with power and surging churing that can that is not restrained as Bette has been taught – it is the blessing of nature and to have Bette feel this and find this resource – just awesome.
OK..that was beautiful. I think Bette needs to find her very, very romantic side and go get her woman and tell her how she feels
Great job of explaining Bette’s feelings and inner turmoils. But, Bette enough with talking to the seashell suck it up and go find Tina and tell her you love her, you’ll be surprised at how easy it is and the load off your shoulders will be felt immediately. So have to agree with the beach being the place to go to chill and meditate and ponder the problems and questions in life. Its always peaceful there no matter what, and for the most part you will find the answers your looking for,you may not like them, but you’ll find them.
i was very impressed by this. soon please
That was really so beautiful and so perfect for Bette to come to the ocean to try to understand her own heart. I really love your premise in this story. Tina’s simplicity and openness pitted against or with Bette’s brilliance and brittleness. That Tina is somehow the catalyst for Bette’s discovering her own vibrant range of feelings, not that she doesn’t have them but that she’s been trained to stuff them time after time until finally she ‘s lost touch. Thank you for this beautifully written prose poem of Bette at the beach
This chapter is so good and now let see how Bette gonna tell Tina she love Tina. Ok let see what’s next, thanks!
So does Bette get to take the lucky shell home? I hope so ‘cuz she may need to hold it front of Tina’s face so she can say “I love you.” Whatever it takes.
More please.
I hope the next chapter has Bette talking to Tina about her feelings,but it’s probly not likely to happen so soon. Realy enjoying as usual please post soon.
yeah you right Bette never loved noone then she didnt know the feeling and now that is is feeling pain in her chest she only can think in 2 opitions a heart attack or she is in love..lol..i hope she have sure she is in love with Tina and soon..greqat chapter P thanks and post soon :o)
been looking forward to read this. please post the next chapter soon. thanks!
For me there will always be something quaintly romantic that happens when one begins the discourse on discovering both self and love …great to see you exploring the more complicated struggle Bette is under going on her journey to love…very nicely done.
beautiful…
Keep telling yourself that, now go to tina and beg for another change and tell her what you told the shell…god is this bette thick headed or what!!! get going now!!!…pls post soon..
“Bette had never seen a work of art that touched what she felt about the sea…”
Ah, nice.
Yes very beautifully written. Okay Bette, now that you have connected all of the dots, you should be able to see the clear picture. The picture of the love that you have for Tina and it is indeed a beautiful sight that warms your heart and soul. Great chapter, please post again soon.
very nice chapter. I love it.
Really enjoyed this post.