Shane had got up and collected the dishes. Sad that Carmen didn’t seem to notice or bothered to acknowledge her after Jenny left, she bit back her tears and decided to find something to do.

Rinsing the plates one by one, she concentrated hard at the task at hand. Suddenly she felt a pair of arms engulfing her from behind. Carmen twirled her arms around Shane and held on tightly, resting her head on the back of Shane’s shoulder.

“I love you.” Carmen whispered.

Shane continued wiping the bowls, biting her lips while a single tear rolled down her cheek. She had heard the ‘but’ in Carmen’s voice and waited for it to appear. She wished Carmen would scream at her like the last time they fought, at least then, it was less complicated.

When Carmen fell back into silence again. Shane sighed as she set the bowl down. Using her arms to support her body, Shane hung her head low.

“I’m scared Carmen, I’m scared of what you are not telling me.” Shane murmured honestly in a weak voice.

Carmen pulled in closer. “I I” The words wouldn’t come and Carmen just pressed in as far in as possible, as if using her actions to reassure Shane.

Shane turned around slowly and gathered Carmen securely in her arms. The ball was in Carmen’s court now. All she could do was to be the loving girlfriend that she was. Whenever and whatever Carmen threw at her, she was going to take it in her stride. She would give up only if Carmen said so, and even then it wouldn’t be without a fight.

“I love you. Very much.” Shane mouthed on Carmen’s forehead.

“I really love you, but I I can’”

“Sssh Carmen, it’s okay, tell me when you are ready. You know I will be here whenever that is.”

“I’m very tired.”

“Come, we should put you to bed now.”

“Could you hold me in your arms, I’d missed that. And I really missed you.”

And Shane did, tucking her girlfriend into bed and settling in beside her. She engulfed Carmen in her arms and let her know as best as she could that she loved her.