“What? Alice Alice, why?” Dana’s voice revealed confusion and Alice finally allowed herself to look her girlfriend in the eyes. Dana was staring at her with a strange look in her eyes, as if she could not believe what she was hearing. “Are you jealous again? Is that it?” She asked. There was no softness at all. Her voice was cold and irritated. As if they had this conversation every day. As if Alice tortured her with her jealousy throughout their relationship.  But they had only touched this subject at the Heart concert and the evening after Jenny’s strip club. After that Alice had tried so hard to keep these unwanted feelings buried deep inside her. Trying to spare Dana’s feelings, spare own feelings too. Trying to spare their relationship this ugly thing. Alice found herself getting agitated against her will. “Is it?” Dana demanded firmly.

“Yes! I am! Okay?!” Alice snapped. She felt cornered. This was not going the way she had wanted it to be. “I’m fucking jealous. You happy? It’s driving me crazy!” She spat the words out, right in Dana’s face. She finally admitted what she had been hiding for a long time now. She could see that Dana did not understand, and that made her want to cry. But instead of crying she just yelled angrily at her girlfriend.

“Do you have to yell, Alice? You know there’s no reason for you to be!” Dana raised her voice as well, but now she was not irritated, just sad.

“No. I don’t.” Alice breathed quietly, although loud enough for Dana to hear. Alice once again looked into the other woman’s eyes. The one person she loved the most, and she hated herself for hurting her. She could see that now. She could see how her idiotic jealousy hurt Dana. She could see the tears spill over in the brunette’s eyes. “I’m sorry Dane” She moved closer, very slowly, putting her hands on Dana’s shoulders, rubbing them in a comforting motion. “I didn’t  mean I I just don’t trust her.” She whispered. Suddenly Dana took a decisive step back.

“You mean you don’t trust me.” She stated coolly.

“No I don’t I mean, I do. I do, it’s just that”