–

Alice buried herself in work. She began to take on more assignments, more articles with column after column with adjectives about pointless clothing. That was the only way she could deal with these horrible feelings and thoughts that forced to eat her alive. She knew it was wrong to feel this way. Every time Dana mentioned she was going to meet Lara in that casual tone of voice she always used, Alice felt like locking her girlfriend in and forbid her to see that ***** Lara Perkins ever again. But she could not. Off course she could not. She knew that. Alice did not really want to lock Dana in. She did not want to trap her. That was no way to have a relationship- She just wanted to be sure nothing would happen between her girlfriend and the chef. And she just was not sure. She could not even bring herself to admit she had a problem with them hanging out. She knew what would happen then. Dana would take offence, and Alice would not blame her. Dana would think Alice was crazy, just as she had said on that Heart concert. That conversation had made her think and want to change, but it also made her very frightened to bring up the subject of Lara with the brunette ever again. Maybe she was crazy. It was not normal to feel this way. Not about the person you love. This urge she had to claim Dana, like she was some sort of possession. But Alice clenched her jaw and kept her mouth shut. She just did not want Dana to think she was mental.

–

Helena waited for Alice inside the Caf Costas. It had become sort of a weekly ritual for them. They met for coffee every night after the Chart. It had just become sort of an unspoken agreement. It was just a few blocks away from the KCRW studio so it was very convenient for Alice, and Helena did not really feel like having her coffee at the Planet in the near future.

The heiress was early as usual. She found herself deliberately skipping work, making up little excuses not to do what desperately needed to be done. That was something very out of character for her and it bothered her. But she just could not cope with the endless paperwork. She had cancelled a few very important meetings just because she could not bring herself to focus. That had caused her mother to call her up and in a very strained voice explaining how completely irresponsible she found her daughter to be. Helena could not even defend herself. The only response she gave was “Yes, mommy.” And “I know, mommy.” That had puzzled Peggy, because she was used to Helena biting back, but there was no other response what so ever. So Peggy had just mumbled a “Don’t do it again.” and hung up. Helena knew her mother was aware of what was wrong with her. Peggy was keeping very up to speed with the custody battle and could not have missed out that things did not look good for Helena. But she did not utter a word about that. It was like it did not matter to her. Not that Helena was surprised. She knew her mother did not really care since the time when she was ten years old and Peggy had called her “my little accident.” That was something Peggy would just say without thinking. She probably would not even remember she ever said it. But Helena never forgot. And after a little contemplation she realized what being an accident meant. After all, her brother Damien was only eleven months older. It was obvious to everyone she was not a planned child.