November 2005

She was crying. She was crying and wouldn’t stop; for over three hours. I had checked her diaper. Nothing. Fed her or at least attempted to. Okay so she wasn’t hungry. Sang to her, which usually worked but didn’t. Her little body was burning up but I couldn’t tell if that was from her fusing or if she genuinely had a fever. I had tried everything I had seen Tina do before but none of it was working.

"Angel, honey, what’s wrong?" I begged her to tell me.

Her crying persisted.

"Oh, baby," I cooed walking back and forth in the small motel room.

I held her close, rubbing her back, hoping that that would soothe her. But it didn’t. Her cries only became louder.

"Maybe we need some fresh air," I said grabbing her blanket and stepping outside the door.

"I see she’s still crying. Is she okay?" a voice asked seemingly close to me.

I looked over my shoulder at a rugged looking man, new growth of a beard with a sweat stained t-shirt. I quickly and one handedly wrapped Angelica in the blanket.

"Excuse me?" I asked facing him.

"I heard you through the wall… singing. You have a beautiful voice."

His comments made me feel uncomfortable.

"Thank you."

Angelica picked up her vocals reminding me why I had stepped out in the cool Canadian air.

"C’mon, Angel. You gotta help Mommy out here," I said continuing to bounce her.

"Wow, she’s got a set of lungs. Gonna be a singer like her Mom," the man laughed, "Do you mind?" he asked holing up a cigarette.

I did but we were outside so what could I say. I shook my head no.

"You know," taking a pull off the smoking stick, "given her size and I’m guessing she’s six to eight months old, maybe your little one is cutting a new tooth," he blew the smoke out in the other direction.

"Huh?"

"Teething."

"I know what cutting a tooth is,"I snidely said.

"Just trying to help," he shrugged.

I turned on my heels to walk back into the room.

"Hope you feel better, Angel," the man said.

"Don’t call her that," I snapped stopping in my tracks.

"I’m sorry. What is her name then?"

It was in that instant that I decided to change her name.

"Darnell," I answered.

I had done it. It was done. A new name for a new life.

*****

"Where the hell is she?! I want my baby. I want my baby!"

*****

"Okay, Ms. Finley. You’re all set," the ticket agent said handing me back both passports.

"Thank you," I smiled.

"Bye-bye Darnell," she waved at Angel.

Darnell smiled showing off her new front tooth.