TINA, BETTE & THE GANG

After dropping Tina off at Alice’s, Bette went home to lay down for a while. She was both physically and emotionally exhausted, and was still feeling remnants of the overwhelming sadness that had overtaken her at the garden. Bette didn’t quite understand what was happening to her. Maybe she really was falling apart. She was just starting to understand that when she began dating Candace, she had closed the door on her feelings for Tina, and by doing that, she had effectively closed the door on the mess their relationship had become. When she started having the dream, she had immediately forged ahead in her mind, only focused on how to get the door to Tina back open in order to get her back. She hadn’t even thought about opening the other door, the one that was housing all the messy relationship stuff…until today. There had been no way around it today.

Bette walked into her house, just wanting to feel cool sheets against her skin. She stopped in front of the painting and stared into the beautiful eyes of the little girl. Tina’s words came into her head. “I’m sorry Bette. I’m sorry I can’t be part of your dream…your painting.” As tears slowly rolled down her cheeks, Bette whispered to the painting, “I’m sorry Mary. I’m so sorry, but don’t give up on me…on us yet.” As Bette continued to stare at the scene depicted in front of her, she felt an incredible amount of love emanating from the painting. She smiled through her tears, and as she turned toward the bedroom, she looked back over her shoulder. “Thank you Mary.”

Bette woke up from her nap feeling refreshed…which lasted about ten seconds. That’s how long it took for the events of the last 24 hours to rush back into her head. She moaned out loud, rubbing her eyes. She remembered that old saying, “When God closes one door, She opens another one…,” or something like that…anyway, what if I don’t want that new door opened? What if I wanted Her to open a window instead? That way I could maybe jump out of it if I wanted to! Bette thought about what it would feel like to be free falling after jumping from a window…too bad this is only a one story house, she mused. Oh well…way too messy for someone like me anyway. A little voice in her head told her to get her butt out of bed and into the shower. “I know this little pity party has been fun, but it’s time to go join your friends for a real party…ya know, the one for your friend Tina.”
***** you voice…

Bette pulled up outside Milk at 9:15. They had all agreed to meet at 9:00, but since Bette had to walk into the bar alone, she didn’t want to be the first one there as well. It wasn’t that Bette was uncomfortable walking into a women’s bar by herself. She knew from experience that her natural self confidence, along with her physical appearance, made for an attractive combination. She was however, uncomfortable walking into this bar on this particular night. She hadn’t told Tina that the last time she had stepped foot in this bar was the last time they were here together. Bette and Tina had enjoyed so many good times in this place, both as a couple and with their friends. She still remembered the first time she brought Tina here…taking her hand before walking through the door…that first slow dance…
Bette had been grateful that Candace was more interested in going to clubs where they played live music, rather than going to the women’s bars. That saved her from having to make up an excuse as to why she didn’t want to take her to Milk. But now, here she was, back again. Only this time without Tina by her side. She took a deep breath and walked through the front door. As she looked around for her friends, she could feel them…the eyes of different women giving her the once over. She inwardly shuddered and closed her own eyes for a moment. God, women can be just as bad as men sometimes. She felt a hand on her arm and opened her eyes.

“Hey Bette.”

Bette smiled, feeling both happiness and relief. “Shane…hi.”

“Come on, we’re sitting over here.”

As they walked over to the table, Bette watched Tina, Alice and Dana talking and laughing just like old times. A wave of guilt washed over her. It was her betrayal that caused Tina to leave town and to break up their family. She felt horrible that it was her actions that caused these friends to be apart from each other. But, for all her guilt, she was also grateful that her friends had not held it against her, and even though they had not been that thrilled about spending time with her and Candace as a couple, they had continued to make sure that Bette joined them regularly at The Planet. Bette put on her best smile and reminded herself that tonight was all about Tina.
They walked up to the table just in time to hear Alice say, “Oh my God Tina! I can’t believe you spent the night with Elaine Brown! No wonder you said you would fly to wherever she was!!”
Bette’s smile disappeared and she felt all the blood drain from her face. Tears sprang into her eyes and she had to grab Shane’s arm to keep herself from falling. “Ohhhh God,” she whispered.
Alice and Dana had been so enthralled with Tina filling them in on the details of her night with Elaine Brown, that they didn’t notice Bette and Shane coming up to the table. Tina felt, rather than heard Bette. She turned around and looked up at Bette, seeing the pain in her eyes and noticing that her face was white as a ghost.
Bette composed herself enough to mumble something about going to get a drink. She turned around and made a b-line for the bar.

Tina looked over at Shane. “*****! Did she hear what Alice just said?”

Shane shrugged her shoulders. “I heard it loud and clear, so I’m sure she did too.”

Alice looked at Tina and reached out to cover her hand with her own. “God T! I’m so sorry! I didn’t see her.”

“Alice, don’t worry. Honestly, it’s fine. Let me just go talk with her.”

“Are you sure, cause I could go for you.”

“No Al, I’ll go.” Tina smiled at her friend. “Don’t worry, Al. I mean it.”

Tina walked over to the bar. She watched while Bette was handed a shot and quickly downed it, then held up the empty shot glass, indicating she wanted another. Tina couldn’t help but smile. Even when Bette wanted to drowned her sorrows in alcohol, she only drank shots that were what her friends called “girlie girl” shots. B-52′s were her favorite, because it contained Khlua, Baileys and Grand Marinier. She somehow felt that this made for a more refined shot than the harshness of Tequila. She would however, indulge everyone once in a while by participating in a group body shot, but when she really wanted to drink seriously, B-52′s were her drink of choice.

Tina reached out and lightly put her arm around Bette’s shoulders. “Hey baby. I am so glad you are here.”

Bette wanted to look at Tina, but didn’t trust her tear ducts. They seemed to be malfunctioning a lot lately, and she didn’t want to take the chance of overloading them with emotions. The second shot the bartender put in front of her was in her hand almost before it touched the bar. She downed it as fast as the first.

“Bette…baby, look at me.” Bette turned her head to face Tina, but kept her body facing the bar. “It’s not what you think Bette.”

“T…it doesn’t matter what I think. We’re just friends now. You can sleep with whomever you want.”

Tina smiled at her beautiful, but transparent ex-lover. “Don’t give me that stoic *****. You and I both know that’s not how you really feel!”

Bette gave Tina a sad smile and gently ran her hand down Tina’s cheek. “You’re right. I can’t help it. The thought of you making love to someone else is not a thought I want to dwell on. God T, how did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“How did you get through the last six months knowing who I was with?”

Tina’s eyes immediately filled with tears. She was just about ready to respond, but changed her mind and shook her head. “Ya know what? I really don’t want to get into this tonight. Remember, tonight is about having fun and enjoying each other’s company. We can get into all that later.”

“Ok Tina.” Bette tried to smile, but it came out looking like a grimace.

“Bette, just so you know, Elaine Brown is the woman you saw in my apartment. She did spend the night, but I promise you, we did not have *****.” Tina looked down and added in s softer voice, “I wanted to, but I couldn’t, because all I could think about was you. She is a wonderful woman though, and I was teasing the girls the other day, telling them that if I ever managed to fall out of love with you, that I would fly to wherever she was. I was just teasing them Bette because she is a big TV star. She is just a friend.”

Bette turned her body so she was facing Tina. “I’m just a friend too, Tina.”

“Yea, well…” Tina sighed, “whether I like it or not, your a friend who I happen to be in love with.” Bette got such a look of hope on her face and was just about ready to say something, but Tina touched her fingers to Bette’s lips. “God, I’m sorry Bette. I shouldn’t have said that. Please don’t read anything into that, Ok? Don’t. Friends…that’s all I can give right now.”

Bette reached out and hugged Tina to her and whispered, “Well, at least we have one thing in common. We are both in love with someone who is…”just a friend.”

For the next couple of hours the friends laughed and talked up a storm, and for the first time in six months, felt like maybe, just maybe, everything would turn out all right. At one point Alice and Dana were dancing, Shane was off somewhere and Kit was up chatting with the DJ, leaving Bette and Tina alone at the table. Tina looked around and said, “Bette, don’t you think it’s odd that no one has asked either one of us to dance?”

Bette hadn’t really thought about it, completing enjoy the company of her friends. “Now that you mention it, that is kind of odd. I mean, everyone has known for a long time that we are not together anymore.” She looked over at Tina. “It can’t be how we look, because…well, you look beautiful tonight T.” She looked down at herself, “And I don’t think I look that bad.”

Tina started laughing. “Bette, even on your worse day, you are beautiful, and believe me, today is NOT one of your worst days! They may not be asking us to dance, but that hasn’t stopped them from checking you out from afar. I can see them all eyeing you!”

It was Bette’s turn to laugh. “No Ms. Kennard, I think it is you they are admiring.” As the two women continued to laugh with each other, they didn’t notice that Shane was doing what she had been doing all night…deflecting any woman she saw approaching their table. She kindly asked them to let her two friends have some privacy, just for tonight. Most of the women knew about Bette and Tina’s past and were nice enough to go along with Shane’s request. The others, just didn’t want to bother trying to dance with someone who had their own body guard, no matter how attractive they were.

It was getting towards the end of the evening and they were all sitting back at the table, except Kit, who was still up in the DJ booth. They were discussing whether or not it was time to leave, when they heard Kit’s voice through the speakers. “Baby sister, this is for you.”
Bette looked up, surprised at hearing Kit talking to her, and then she heard the beginning of one of her all time favorite songs…”Night and Day”, by the Temptations. She beamed at Kit and blew her a kiss. She then stood and held her hand out to Tina.
“Tina, would you do me the honor of sharing this beautiful song, and dance with me?”

Tina was mesmerized by Bette’s beauty, by her words, and by the way she was smiling down at her with so much love.

“Yes…,” she whispered. She took Bette’s outstretched hand and followed her onto the dance floor, with every step remembering the first time they had slow danced, all those years before…feeling the eyes of different women on them…then feeling the whole room fading away as Bette put her arms around her as they swayed to the music.

All they saw…all they felt was each other. They didn’t notice their friends watching them in silence, with tears in their eyes…didn’t notice the rest of the bar watching them on the dance floor, all thinking the same thing…

Wow…that is what they call pure love in motion…